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Never been in a relationship, never had sex

 
 
Reply Sun 5 Nov, 2023 02:36 pm
Hello,
As the title says, I have never had sex. I am a male, 33 years old, decent job and financial situation ok, I want to get advice on how to deal with the ideas/illusions my minds keep popping out from time to time.
It's a choice, a religious choice, I don't see anywhere else to talk about it but on a forum, as an anonymous, maybe you can help.
I know everyone has insecurities, in my case they get stronger as they rely on this fact. For example, I take theater class (as a leisure activity to work on my soft social anxiety and my shyness), I feel anxious in some situations that involve male/female romance. I get afraid to have awkward boners which makes me think twice about what I wear if I am going with female friends to swimming pool or beach.
I want to have sex after mariage (most I did when I was younger was getting a blow job), I feel good about my life without sex, I have some good social relationships, liked by people (I say it in case what I wrote gives another impression). But I am not ready to get married, I like hanging around with friends, having the social life I have right now, I am living in another country and I am enjoying the experience and all I like is make new encounters etc, not yet in the mood for a family and settling down.
This might sound weird, but I want to know someone else's view on this, cuz this choice of living without sex and relationships is uncommon, (I live in Paris now), and I sometimes feel a weirdo, and when I am down my insecurities look for anything to get stronger and knock me down.
I think if I ever get married and sex becomes just another usual thing, I will see that these insecurities had no foundation and it's not really a big deal if someone lives a sexless/single life. But I want to get people's views, of course people that are in relationships and have different life experience.
Sorry for the long post, I don't even know if it's what this forum is made for, but I don't know anywhere else where I can share this thought.
Thank you
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hightor
 
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Reply Sun 5 Nov, 2023 03:33 pm
@Erasmus18,
If it's not stressing you out it's really not a problem. People are all wired differently and respond to social pressures in different ways. From some of the questions that people post here one gets the impression that having a sexual relationship can be a bigger problem!
Erasmus18
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Nov, 2023 10:13 am
@hightor,
Thank your for your reply. Sometimes I am embarrassed when people invoke discussions about past relationships, I get uncomfortable knowing I have none, I become "small" and I keep fighting the negative thoughts of being some kind of a "child" in this field.
Last time on theater class a girl grabbed me with her arm around my neck and I lost my "man" attitude to some kind of weakness (don't know if it was visible or repelling, but the negative feeling was there)
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