Should we be together?

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Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years (we are 27).

We have lived together for two years.

In Jan of this year my Dad died and I semi-moved home.

When we first met (my dad was unwell with cancer the whole time we knew one another) my boyfriend said if anything happens he will move back to my parents place with me and support me as he could negotiate with his work for this to happen.

Once my dad died he didn't even consider doing this. Now I have taken some time off work and can't afford the rent any longer and am moving home permanently until my mum moves to London (where I was living with my boyfriend).

I asked my boyfriend if he would like to move with me and we could save some money for a house deposit (or try at least) but he said no and said he would rather keep our flat and get a house mate to move in.

He said he couldn't do this because he has a job but he isn't often at home or based in London

I'm pretty hurt and tbh he hasn't been overly supportive through-out this crap period of my life (making me go on nights out and being moody when he has visited me).

Do you think it's reasonable for me to want him to come here?

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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 384 • Replies: 6

@lilypelie,

I think it's a lot more reasonable for you to tell him that it's over.

Why?

Because even if he didn't want to leave London, he could have framed it in such a way as to be respectful of your feelings. And before he tries any nonsense about saying that he "didn't know" you didn't want to go out and you wanted his support, that's a load of crap.

Srsly, you have to be a big time inconsiderate lout to not realize that someone who has just lost a (nonabusive) parent is going to be, oh, I dunno, not the party animal you want them to be?

He had a chance to step up or at least be sensitive. He's been and done neither.

When people show you who and what they are, believe them.

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@lilypelie,

Agreeing with Jespah here. Picture this: You meet a guy who is considerate and caring; he supports you when you lose your dad. He is interested in you and what you need and want and tries to provide it. Even a little compassion for you when you're feeling blue. He knows who you are and loves you for it.

This is not this guy. Dump him. Drop him like a hot potato. Move in with your mum and move on with your life. As Jespah said, he's telling you who he is. Good luck!

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if ya gotta ask, the answer is 'nope'.

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So you had discussion of this previously with one another and he agreed to that, if you had discussion with him about that same thing which he agreed to for reminding him, and he will not do what he committed to, which is what his agreeing to earlier was, you can be sure he is not one you can have commitments with, meaning he is not good for a boyfriend.

Should we be together?

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