My Hedonistic Philosophy

As human beings, we possess consciousness, which means we experience mental states. For example, we experience bodily pain and pleasure, hunger, thirst, colors, and sound (which are mental states). We also experience goodness and badness. But, what do I mean by that? I'll explain. When something matters to you, that's a state of mind, which I call "an x state." X states are always states of pleasure or displeasure (states of wanting, liking, or disliking).

For example, if you were amazed by a work of art, that means you liked it, which means it pleasantly mattered to you. Happiness is another example of a pleasant x state (a state of liking). Valuing something is also a pleasant x state (a state of wanting or liking). Misery, rage, and disgust are examples of unpleasant x states (states of disliking). Now, x states can be profound or shallow, and intense or not intense.

For example, being there for your family could profoundly matter to you, and buying a fancy, luxurious item could shallowly matter to you. Another example would be experiencing intense happiness towards one thing, and then experiencing less intense happiness towards something else. Now, the more profound and intense a pleasant x state is, the better (more good) something becomes in your eyes, which means the more it matters to you.

So, if you were profoundly and intensely happy about nature, then nature would be very good (would matter very much) in your eyes. You'd, thus, be experiencing a higher level of goodness than if that happiness was shallow and less intense. As you can see, experiencing a pleasant x state is the same thing as experiencing goodness. The higher level of goodness one experiences, the better of an experience he's having, which means the better of an existence he's living.

So, the best (greatest good) existence one can live would be an existence where one is experiencing the best bliss (pleasant x states that are the most profound and intense in the world). But, the best bliss can only be achieved through powerful drug trips or near death experience induced trips. The same thing applies to the worst suffering (the most profound and intense unpleasant x states in the world).

One might wish to experience the worst suffering. But, according to my philosophy, experiencing badness is the only bad thing in life. So, experiencing the worst suffering can never be good. Experiencing goodness is the only good thing, and I'll tell you why. The only goodness that exists is the goodness we experience. I could say the same thing about any other mental state (I'll use sound as an example).

The only sound that exists is the sound we experience because sound doesn't exist in the external world. Only sound waves do. Sound itself is a mental state. Anyway, back to the topic of goodness. To say that experiencing badness is good, or that helping humanity is good (matters) when we're unable to experience pleasant x states, implies there's goodness in the external world.

But, goodness only exists in our minds. In other words, people, places, and things only become good when they pleasantly matter to us (when they're experienced as good), and they only become bad when they unpleasantly matter to us, which means they're subjectively good or bad because what pleases one person might displease another. But, if nothing matters to us (neither pleases nor displeases us), nothing matters in our minds, which means nothing's good or bad (nothing matters).

Now, since goodness only exists in our minds, it would be better if someone lived his entire life in a blissful, vegetative state, unable to do anything for himself or humanity, than to be a non-vegetable, experience much badness, and help humanity. Experiencing goodness can be metaphorically described as experiencing the light of god or the inner light. Without the inner light, it's no way to live.

Our lives/mental universes would either be filled with darkness (badness) or devoid of goodness and badness. So, even though that blissful vegetable is unable to achieve anything in life or help humanity, he has the inner light (the bliss), which means his existence isn't some wasted life that's no way to live. His existence is good. To say his existence is bad and his bliss is neither good nor bad would be to focus on his vegetative existence and dismiss his bliss.

Also, to say that a chronically unhappy person lived a good existence because he helped humanity, and that his unhappiness is neither good nor bad, would be to focus on his helpful deeds and dismiss his bad experiences (his unhappiness). I disagree with and strongly oppose any philosophy that dismisses one's experience. That includes philosophies that say pleasant x states can be bad and unpleasant ones can be good.

If anyone tries to convert me to such a philosophy, it wont work. It would be like trying to convert anyone to a worldview he disagrees with (such as trying to convert an atheist to Christianity). No amount of hardship and unhappiness will convert me either. I've struggled with years of chronic unhappiness as a result of chronic worries, and this struggle hasn't converted me. It has only strengthened my need for the inner light.

Also, I had no choice but to be worried and unhappy because worry and unhappiness are emotional states, and emotions don't listen to reason. For example, reasoning with a phobia doesn't work. I've reasoned with my worries and unhappiness by telling myself it's pointless to be worried about things that might or might not happen, and I also told myself that, since I need the inner light, to stop being worried and unhappy.

But, that didn't help at all, which means I had to wait for these unpleasant emotions to fade away on their own over time until my pleasant emotions (pleasant x states/the inner light) returned. While I was waiting, people told me to stop selfishly focusing on the inner light and just move on with my life. But, I disagree with their philosophies that dismiss my need for the inner light as childishly selfish and trivial. There are many unhappy people who need it as well.

Some of these people have very few or no moments of it and might require electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) to alleviate their unhappiness and fully restore their inner light. Since the inner light is the only good thing, I wonder why we're here on Earth, where there's much inevitable unhappiness and the inner light is fleeting. Why aren't we in heaven, where we get to experience the best, everlasting bliss? That's, of course, providing heaven even exists.

I don't know if god and the afterlife exist or not. But, if they do exist, then why did god send us here to Earth, instead of having us remain in heaven? Perhaps it's because god has a different philosophy than mine. But, he must understand that my philosophy will never change. My philosophy is very incompatible with this Earthly existence. So, why doesn't god just send my soul to heaven right now?

With that being said, I'm going to discuss a few more things regarding my philosophy, and then I'll finally conclude this post. All x states are emotional states and vice versa, and all emotions are forms of pleasure or displeasure. Without pleasure or displeasure, emotions can't exist. Now, there are emotionless people because there are mental illnesses and forms of brain damage that disable emotions.

If an emotionless person had the mindset that something mattered to him, then that mindset alone couldn't make it matter to him because emotions are the only x states. Also, if an insomniac person had the mindset of being sleepy, then that mindset alone couldn't make him sleepy. As you can see, our mindset alone can't be a state of sleepiness, hunger, thirst, nausea, or an x state.

But, if nothing can matter to emotionless people, then how are they able to perform tasks? Doesn't their performance imply these tasks mattered to them? Well, nothing can matter to robots because they're apathetic machines that can't fear, love, hate, be sad or happy, etc. Yet, they still perform tasks. So, emotionless people who perform tasks are like robots. Being emotionless does have an advantage, though, which would be that you don't have to experience badness.

Experiencing neutrality (neither goodness nor badness) is better than experiencing badness, which means it's better to be emotionless or unconscious than to be displeased/bothered by things. The higher level of badness you're experiencing, the better it is to be emotionless or unconscious. Even though I could've rendered myself unconscious by killing myself, I chose not to.

I chose to endure all my unpleasant emotions because I knew that my suffering was gradually fading and my inner light was returning over time. But, while I was suffering greatly, not only was my inner light absent, but I had no emotional drive to pursue my dream of composing music, which means pursuing it couldn't matter to me. So, I gave up on it until my drive returned.

As for anyone who thinks I should've pursued it, here's a quote by Hume (a famous philosopher): "Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions." This quote means that reason alone is hollow (can't be an x state). So, according to this quote, a person might as well give up on pursuing his goals if he has no emotional drive to pursue them.

With that being said, I'm now going to conclude this post by discussing one more thing regarding my philosophy. My philosophy is based upon my personal experience and is a form of hedonism, which advocates experiencing pleasant emotions and not unpleasant ones. Some people want to avoid pleasure because they claim it's unpleasant for them. But, pleasure is what it is (pleasant). It can never be unpleasant.

But, it's possible for one to derive displeasure from his pleasure, and it would be the displeasure that's unpleasant. While I'm on the topic of pleasure and displeasure, the only time I'm displeased would be when I'm worried. So, in my non-worried state, I'm always pleased, which means I never get frustrated or miserable, which makes me fortunate.

But, what if I ever become unhappy again, or if I develop a mental illness that disables my pleasant emotions? Well then, I'd just have to find ways to restore my inner light and eliminate the inner darkness.