Insurance issue: Another possible but heads with siblings issue

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I'm 54 years old and my parents moved into their house shortly before I was born. It's now paid for and they, of course, have homeowners insurance. Yes, at this point it's an older home and we try our best to keep it up to par but things do happen from time to time. A few years ago the ceiling in one of their rooms began to sag. My mom put tape on it to hold it and it managed to hold for a number of years. A few weeks ago on Father's Day the ceiling finally gave way and collapsed. We have put in a claim on their homeowner's insurance policy and I was told yesterday that the claim will most likely be denied because that falls under normal wear and tear and my parent's should have had this fixed before it finally fell. They said that had a pipe burst in the attic and caused the ceiling to fall or a tree fell on the house then the ceiling would have been covered. There had to have been a catalyst that caused it to fall so it would be covered. Granted, they told me they would send someone out to inspect the damage but no one from their insurance company had been out to check yet they are denying the claim. This is the same insurance company who about a year or so ago who drove past my parent's house and did a visual inspection of the roof and informed them that they needed to replace the roof or they would drop the policy even though the roof was not leaking. I guess I didn't know there were wear and tear items when it comes to houses. Who knew you had to rip out something just to replace it simply because it was needed. Ceilings don't just fall in last time I checked.

Anyway, here's the next thing I see being a problem. Given the insurance company denied the claim to replace the roof in one room I'm sure one of my sisters if gonna send out a group text saying we all, the 7 of us, need to chip in and help replace the ceiling in the one room. Here's my dilemma with that. Yes, that is the home I was born and raised in but I haven't lived there in almost 28 years. Every time something breaks there my sister expects us to all chip in and split the cost. Here's the thing. My 3 older brothers all still live at home. Again, I'm 54. They all work and have jobs so why should me and my 3 sisters have to pay out of pocket for 3 grown adults who all still live at home? A few months ago it was discovered the home had termites and of course my sister called a pest control company and they came out and treated which she wanted to split the cost with the siblings. Same thing with the roof. Now the kitchen floor is sinking due to the termite damage and of course again she's gonna want to divide the cost of that repair between the 7 of us instead of the 3 who still live at home. Yes, I have spoken to her about this and she does understand but she says in order to be fair to everyone it's best to do it that way. I told her we don't live there anymore. And she was like, "well we all still go there to visit and eat from time to time." Since when does visiting your parents or going over for a sunday dinner obligate you to fix things in their house?

I've never dealt with a homeowner's claim but I do understand that insurance companies will do their best to not pay out a claim. Is this par for the course? And in regards to my 3 older brothers still living at home, should they not be the ones responsible for the repairs to the house they all live in?

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@Barry2021,

I'm not surprised one bit that you treat your parents as horrible as you treat your wife & step kids.

I guess what gets my goat is the claim you make about attending church and how active you are in the congregation. But that's really a misnomer because your soul is rotten to the core.

I really can't believe you'd let your elderly parents live in squallor and fight with your siblings over the upkeep of their home. This should be a no-brainer, yet here you are, again, quibbling like a 12 yr old, thinking somebody ELSE is responsible.

Get the ceiling fixed.

Drywall - $150
https://www.lowes.com/pd/CertainTeed-Common-1-2-in-x-4-ft-x-8-ft-Actual-0-5-in-x-4-ft-x-8-ft-Drywall-Panel/1002992798

Screws - $8
https://www.lowes.com/pd/Fas-n-Tite-6-x-1-1-4-in-Bugle-Coarse-Thread-Drywall-Screws-1-lb/999996482

Joint Compound - $9
https://www.lowes.com/pd/SHEETROCK-Brand-3-5-Quart-Premixed-All-purpose-Drywall-Joint-Compound/3009537

Invite some of your church buddies for a few hours, Serve lemonade and cookies.

And be a better son than this.

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An equitable solution would be that the three of you working kids pay for the materials and the ones living in the house do the work. And that floor should be done sooner than later. Additionally, you guys should get a complete home inspection done - there may be other problems lurking beneath the wallpaper. And how old is the furnace and hot water tank?

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@neptuneblue,

No, they are definitely not living in squallor. Their home is a nice home for them. They raised us all in that home. My issue is the fact that 3 of the 4 siblings sill live in the house, the youngest being 54 years old, but every time something happens in or to the home we're all expected to chip in and pay for it when there are 3 other adults in the home. Helping out is one thing but footing the bill for 3 other adults is totally different. And this has nothing to do with me and my church so don't go there with me. This is about 3 grown men who all live in our parent's house but every time something breaks or needs replacing my sister likes to pass the hat so to speak. My 54 year old brother got an insurance settlement last Dec when his son committed suicide at the home and then he goes out and finds some 20-something year old child to start dating so that money is all but gone on her with dinners out, multiple hotel rooms, etc. But again, now WE, the other siblings are expected to chip in to repair the ceiling. Again, a child he calls his girlfriend but no one has met.

This would be a different situation if everyone was out of the house and something needed fixing and they couldn't afford it. Then I would have no problem chipping in. But when you still have 3 grown men who all work living in the house why does everything need to be split 7 ways?

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@Mame,

The three living in the house don't know how to do anything. They sit around and wait on me or my sister to do everything for them then reap the benefits of everyone else's bank accounts. Do you know how many times I've had to go to my parent's house because my dad's TV won't get a certain channel and when I walk in all three of them are just sitting there. I drive across town only to find the batteries are going dead or their cable box just needs to be reset. Then my brother who is dating the child will sneak out and stay gone for 2 or 3 days because him and his child girlfriend wanna lay up in a hotel. If you have hotel money then you need to put the money into the house you're sleeping in some nights a week. My sister and I have both told our mom that she needs to put him out. He moved in more than a year ago when he and his son got evicted from their apartment for not paying rent. When that insurance money is gone so will that child. When he can no longer afford to take her out to eat or pay for hotels several nights a week do you honestly think that girl is going to just hang around because she likes him? Nope! She'll find some new older sucker to milk. My sister has already gotten an estimate to fix the ceiling and one bid came in at about $1300. I honestly thing that 3 grown men can spilt $1300 and it now tax any of them too bad.

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@Barry2021,

It's a nice home for them???

Barry, the literal ceiling collapsed! Weeks ago! And nobody has done ANYTHING.

This ISN"T about your siblings and everything to do with how you treat your parents.

Fix the bloody ceiling.

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@neptuneblue,

Like I said before, we have been dealing with their homeowner's insurance who denied the claim without even sending anyone out to inspect the damage.

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@Barry2021,

It may not be an insurance issue. It may be an upkeep issue. I don't know why a ceiling would fall in - is there a bathroom above that ceiling?

1 Reply

@Mame,

Nope, one level home. Again, it's an old home and the concrete drywall, what they were using back in the day, just pulled away from the nails in the rafters.

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@Barry2021,

You are way too vested in your sibling's lives and not enough where it counts. It's none of YOUR business how/when/why others spend their money. What matters is your parent's ceiling collapsed and you're willing to pass on a $1300 bill for something that costs under $200 and a few hours of your time.

Or, does the Bible phrase Honour thy father and mother just bullshit to you?

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@Barry2021,

First of all, if your brother's son committed suicide, no insurance will pay out a dime. Even if he had a $500k life insurance, no one pays for suicide. So your story is flawed here.

Second, if 3 brothers live at home with your parents, are they paying rent?
Are they contributing to the cost of living - groceries, utilities etc. ? Do they take care of your parents, be caregivers? If not, then they should pay for the upkeep of the home.

Third, if they pay rent and contribute to the welfare of your parents, then it should be equally divided among all siblings. It's hard work taking care of elderly parents and be their caregiver. Then you should be grateful that they'll take on this task.

1 Reply

@CalamityJane,

Actually many life insurance policies do pay out for a death by suicide. What it is - is a clause that states something along the lines where the policy will not pay out if the death is by suicide during a certain amount of time after the policy is first opened; I think it is usually 2 years but not 100% sure and I'd imagine it can vary.

It is set up this way so someone is not opening up the policy to provide payment for this specific reasons.

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@RPhalange,

Most life insurances have provisions for suicidal death and don't pay out,
but there might be a rare one out there who does and maybe Barry's relative found that one.

1 Reply

@CalamityJane,

I know, unfortunately, first hand that they do pay out.

Where do you get your information that they do not?

Also found this that states quite the opposite of what you said - most do pay after two years

"If a suicide happens more than two years after getting a life insurance policy, the life insurance policy will pay out death benefit to the policy’s beneficiaries."

https://www.forbes.com/advisor/life-insurance/coverage-for-suicide/#:~:text=Suicide%20is%20not%20generally%20covered,known%20as%20a%20suicide%20clause.

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@RPhalange,

Unfortunately, I do get my info also first hand and the insurance did not pay by suicide which left the family in horrible financial conditions.

Listen, I am not a friend of insurances> State Farm just pulled out of California due to the increasing fire season every year. Other major insurance carriers deny insurance to individuals living in a fire prone area and/or on a canyon. Your car insurance is only as good as you being an excellent driver. Should you have several tickets and accidents, they will cancel your premium and drop you like a hot potato. I find it very hard to believe that insurances honor suicide death and pay out.

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@CalamityJane,

Apparently you know more than a respected business journal.

Yes, insurance policies are all different, however, most have a clause that states after two years (or some other amount of time) they will pay out for death by suicide. Perhaps this family had an insurance policy that did not pay out for this sort of death or perhaps it was within the two year limit. However, anything I have read on this sides on that most pay out if it after the two years.

https://www.policygenius.com/life-insurance/reasons-life-insurance-wont-pay-out/

"What are some of the reasons life insurance wouldn’t pay out?
Life insurance covers any type of death. But if you commit fraud or die under excluded circumstances — such as suicide within the first two years — your policy might not pay out ...

What are the most common exclusions to a life insurance policy?
Suicide
Suicide is typically covered under life insurance, with one caveat — life insurance policies have a suicide clause that prohibits a payout for death by suicide in the first two years of the policy.

Insurance companies have suicide clauses in place so that applicants cannot take their own lives immediately after their life insurance policy goes in force. The time frame for suicide clauses can vary from insurer to insurer, but it’s usually two to three years.

This gets complicated in certain scenarios, such as a drug overdose. Life insurance companies can deny coverage in the case of a drug overdose, but they’ll need to prove that the overdose was deliberate to deny the death benefit."

I am not making this up, but you have not provided anything that denies this fact. You may find it hard, but yes they do cover suicide, now this does not mean that they will try not to honor it, if they can fight things and claim it was some other thing, like a stated above a drug overdose as taking drugs is considered risky behavior even if the intention of overdosing on drugs was to die by suicide. The policy holder beneficiary would have to prove that.

Quite honestly it is not worth debating about, other than the fact that this person on here may be telling the truth about this insurance payout.

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