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I can see this backfiring on me in so many different ways but tell me what you think!

 
 
Reply Wed 28 Jun, 2023 12:09 pm
Both me and my wife work from home now since covid hit. I am perm work from home since my company sold it's buildings. My wife just started going back into her office 1 day a week. I've not seen any of my co-workers since we all went home in 2020. I do have one friend who I am Facebook friends with and we will chat during the day about work and stuff. Work stuff we talk about on the company system but other stuff like when we want to talk about another co-worker or just shoot the bull we usually just message each other on FB chat. She's about 10 years younger than me and she's kind of had it hard the past few years. Her father passed about a year ago. Her grandfather, who she loves dearly, is in poor health. And recently she told me that her brother committed suicide a few weeks ago so I've just been trying to keep her motivated and she'll ask me to keep her and her family in prayer. And to top it all off she is in a relationship with a guy she can't stand. They've broken up and gotten back together a number of times in the past year or so.
I've been telling her for months that I was going to invite her to my church but never got around to it. Today I gave her an official invite and even gave her our church address and the time our service starts. Here's my dilemma.

My wife knows the type of woman I usually go for. Slender, and high yella just like she use to be. Yes, this girl is high yellow but she is not slender. There has never been anything between us at all. I don't think we've ever even hugged or shook hands when we were in the building. It's always been a casual friendly type of thing between us, everything above board. If she shows up to church I can't not go speak to her but I know my wife. When she sees me talking to her or even introduce her to my wife the first thing my wife is going to think is "oh, of all the people you work with you had to invite the one high yellow chic to church." She may not say it right then but I know the conversation we're going to have after we get home.

Could this possibly backfire in my face by just trying to do a nice thing and invite her to church? My wife knows how I am. I have always been a very friendly person. I'm a deacon in our church and a lot of the members love to call me their favorite deacon. When we get to church my wife will go straight to her seat and sit down whereas I like to walk around and greet the members or visitors. She just looks at me and is always saying I'm just always up in people's faces. That's just my personality. She tries her best not to talk to anyone. When service is over she makes a beeline straight to the car because she's ready to go home. There are times when I have other duties I have to do after service, be it to lock up the church, assist the pastor with something, or to just make sure our financial person gets to her car safely with the offering.

There have been times when I'll be speaking to someone on the other side of the church and when we get home my wife will want to know what we were talking about. And this also happens with guys. "So, what were yall talking and laughing about so funny after church today?" My wife doesn't have many friends but I refuse to go to church and be an officer and not know anyone or talk ot anyone without fear that she will think something is going on. Yes, like with most churches there are more women there than men. Married, single, old, young. I like to make sure I give those seasoned women in the church a quick peck on the check to say hi or to help them to their cars after service. Me and the other brothers will stand around and shoot the bull so to speak after service. And again with my duties, that she is fully aware of, I can't just leave right after the benediction is given. I just don't want her to think I invited this once female co-worker to church like I have something up my sleeve.

Could this backfire on me?
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 303 • Replies: 9
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Mame
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Jun, 2023 02:25 pm
Look, she is what she is and there's nothing you can do about it. She's a jealous woman who wants all of your attention. She is never going to change, so I'd suggest continuing to live your life the way you've been doing - chatting to people, making friends, etc. She's just going to have to live with that. Learn how to tune her out.
0 Replies
 
PoliteMight
 
  -2  
Reply Thu 29 Jun, 2023 06:10 am
@Barry2021,
Your wife wants be included. Sounds like she needs to lose some weight.
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Thu 29 Jun, 2023 08:08 am
@PoliteMight,
PoliteMight wrote:

Sounds like she needs to lose some weight.


WTH?
0 Replies
 
Barry2021
 
  0  
Reply Thu 29 Jun, 2023 08:14 am
@PoliteMight,
PoliteMight wrote:

Your wife wants be included. Sounds like she needs to lose some weight.


Wanting to be included doesn't mean make accusations that aren't true. I can't make my wife make friends or just go speak to someone. It'sd just frustrating to me when you can't even speak to someone across the sanctuary, go shake a hand or give a hug without the wife getting suspicious. Or if you're in the back of the church or the finance room and she hates being alone for more than 5 minutes she wonders what's going on. And again, these are duties I do every Sunday. Sometime we'll drive separate cars and she'll leave and go on home. But if I'm not home in a timely manner then she starts texting asking what's going on.

I invite a friend to church and now I'm suspect for inviting a female.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Jun, 2023 08:29 am
@Barry2021,
Barry2021 wrote:

I invite a friend to church and now I'm suspect for inviting a female.


You know very well what she's like. This is a topic for your counsellor.
Barry2021
 
  0  
Reply Thu 29 Jun, 2023 11:40 am
@Mame,
Mame wrote:

Barry2021 wrote:

I invite a friend to church and now I'm suspect for inviting a female.


You know very well what she's like. This is a topic for your counsellor.


It's a good thing this is a message board and not a counseling session then.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Jun, 2023 12:38 pm
@Barry2021,
Yes, it is.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  2  
Reply Wed 5 Jul, 2023 07:42 am
Quote:
Both me and my wife work from home now since covid hit.


Pet peeve on A2K - "Me and ..."

My wife and I work from home since the Pandemic.

But to get to your question, "Could this backfire on me? "

Well, hell yes. You obviously know it could. So why not respect your wife's feelings and cut it out? Get close enough to the edge and you will fall over.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  2  
Reply Wed 5 Jul, 2023 07:49 am
@PoliteMight,
Sounds like you have a screw loose.
0 Replies
 
 

 
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