When I tried to tie a message to my pigeon's leg he shat on my hand and then flew to the top of the baytree.
He won't come down no matter how many walnutsI throw at him.
When I try phoning the helpline I'm told he's been suspended and I'll be sent a bill for termination.
There's a helpline for someone with a stick, but that just connects to a voice message about sticks, with a load of frankly irrelevant nonsense about dogs and sticks, very little pigeon related stuff.
Eventually I got through to customer services who said I'd be sent a replacement pigeon, but he'd need to be transported by a much bigger pigeon and they're having problems with the growth hormones.
That was five weeks ago.
What are my legal rights re pigeon growth hormones?
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