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Help my pigeon service has been suspended.

 
 
Reply Thu 4 May, 2023 07:46 am
Has anone else had this?

When I tried to tie a message to my pigeon's leg he shat on my hand and then flew to the top of the baytree.

He won't come down no matter how many walnutsI throw at him.

When I try phoning the helpline I'm told he's been suspended and I'll be sent a bill for termination.

There's a helpline for someone with a stick, but that just connects to a voice message about sticks, with a load of frankly irrelevant nonsense about dogs and sticks, very little pigeon related stuff.

Eventually I got through to customer services who said I'd be sent a replacement pigeon, but he'd need to be transported by a much bigger pigeon and they're having problems with the growth hormones.

That was five weeks ago.

What are my legal rights re pigeon growth hormones?
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 369 • Replies: 12
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tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2023 07:59 am
@izzythepush,
Have you consider upgrading to owl messagenger services?
https://imgur.com/hXqnI8w.jpg
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2023 08:08 am
@tsarstepan,
I've had a lot of problems with owls.

My father thought my son was into them and bought him a load that I've just found in a box and I'm taking them to the car boot.

I mean, there's all sorts, and some are really weird and tripped out.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2023 08:16 am
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:


I mean, there's all sorts, and some are really weird and tripped out.

You Sir! Have piqueshed! my interest!
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2023 09:03 am
@tsarstepan,
Upgrading would be to racing pigeon service.
Walter Hinteler
 
  2  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2023 09:05 am
@izzythepush,
Perhaps downgrade to snail service - the royal version is just now on special offer.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2023 10:05 am
@Walter Hinteler,
But you'll get your mail covered with snail slime!
#eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2023 10:08 am
@tsarstepan,
You see what I mean, I don't want official owls seeing my tripped out ones and getting ideas.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2023 11:03 pm
@izzythepush,
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/85/5e/23/855e23b99aef83e4c50bf088ad8d3a7e.jpg

He's tanned, rested and ready to serve.
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 May, 2023 11:04 pm
@Walter Hinteler,
That's for express service.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Fri 5 May, 2023 03:12 am
@bobsal u1553115,
He's a bit touchy.



Btw, the "American" interviewer is the same person who played the Red Priest in Game of Thrones.

https://oyster.ignimgs.com/mediawiki/apis.ign.com/game-of-thrones/6/63/Thoros_of_myr.jpg
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Fri 5 May, 2023 04:43 am
I want it to be known that I will take any legal, quasi legal, or obvious bullshit advice as Gospel and act accordingly.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 May, 2023 03:57 pm
@izzythepush,
He has that cocksure self assurance of the low wattage. He certainly has a lot of 'handlers'.
0 Replies
 
 

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