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Word Choice

 
 
Reply Fri 28 Apr, 2023 01:08 pm
Is this sentence clear or is there a better choice:

I left a message for the plans examiner this morning to schedule him and Mike to meet and discuss code upgrades.

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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 251 • Replies: 3
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Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 28 Apr, 2023 01:19 pm
@LBrinkmann,
LBrinkmann wrote:

I left a message for the plans examiner this morning to schedule him and Mike to meet and discuss code upgrades.


It's a bit awkward and wordy.

I left a message asking the plans examiner to discuss the code upgrades with Mike.

OR

I have asked the plans examiner to meet with Mike about ...

Just ask yourself what's crucial in the message. The time of day is or isn't. Emailing, voice-messaging is or isn't. Meeting or talking one the phone - is or isn't. Re: Meet and discuss - they don't have to meet in order to discuss, also what else are they going to do when they meet BUT discuss? They aren't going to sit there and play cards.
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LBrinkmann
 
  1  
Reply Fri 28 Apr, 2023 02:08 pm
Great, thank you!
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bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 May, 2023 06:57 am
I messaged the plans examiner to schedule a meeting to discuss code upgrades with Mike and myself.

What (I messaged) Who (the plans examiner) Why (to discuss code upgrades)
Pertinent detail - (with Mike and Myself) - if important information for the person I am informing about who, what, why with an indefinite when and where until I get a response.



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