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Am I being abused by a narcissist? I just found out I am pregnant. Am I in danger?

 
 
Reply Mon 10 Apr, 2023 03:36 pm
Am I being abused by a narcissist? I just found out I am pregnant. Am I in danger? I am fairly certain that the person I am dating is a narcissist because of control and manipulation. He is 58, I am 33. For example, he will randomly ask me to pay for dinner or objectify me overtly. Also, a while ago he pushed me sexually and admitted to the act. I have gone back and forth between being with him and running away since then. He always talked about how he wanted me to get pregnant and marry me and how much he loved me. Is it normal to not be able to tell the difference between something that seems like it should be wrong? He acted excited about the news..

3 days ago he kept me up until 3:45 to have sex several times and kept saying how much he wanted to put a baby in me and how he ordered a custom engagement ring (showed me pictures and whatnot). Over the next couple of days I was conflicted… and made plans with him and blew him off 3 times. I felt terrible for doing it and I wanted to see him but felt scared or something that I can’t understand.

He blocked me yesterday on everything, knowing that I am pregnant. I sent emails begging him to please forgive me. Telling him I was so sorry and couldn’t live without him. I tried everything to get in touch again. Is it abuse that he went from I want to marry you and have sex enough that I get pregnant only to block me for a full day until I showed up at his house and begged for forgiveness?

Now he is back to ‘can you try on the ring to make sure it fits’ and ‘you are so incredible, everything I want?’ ‘Please do not hurt me’ Please some one give me some kind of clue. I feel like I do not understand what is real and if I deserved this maybe.
 
jespah
 
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Reply Mon 10 Apr, 2023 06:32 pm
@Kstanfie2303,
This guy is not a good choice for a boyfriend or a baby daddy.

Hell, he's a lousy choice to hold the door open for you if you're carrying packages.

Pregnancy can mess with your hormones and your mind but the bottom line is: you're uncomfortable, and that's being ignored. Figure out if you want to get a crumb of affection by having to beg. And then figure out if you want to do that for the next 40 years of your life. And then figure out if you want your child to witness that behavior and learn from it.

The chances of things improving are slim and none. Get out before things get even more entwined.

Oh, and your reproductive choices are yours. He should get input, sure. But until he grows a uterus, his demand to get you pregnant is something that takes him a minute of effort. You're the one left holding the bag.

Talk to your family about this. And if you're resistive to telling your family, and are afraid of what they might say or think, that is your subconscious.

Knock knock knock.

It's trying to tell you something.

You should probably listen.
Kstanfie2303
 
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Reply Mon 10 Apr, 2023 09:00 pm
@jespah,
Thank you, I felt crazy because I couldn't figure out if this is emotional abuse or not. When I begged him to unblock me he acted like everything was okay and told me we are going to a nice restaurant this weekend and that it has to be the nicest. He then hinted about proposing to me. Is that narcissistic abuse? I mean, the change was so sudden. (I spend so much time researching) but I think I lost sight because I'm in it and needed that outside view. Again, thank you for any insight
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Tue 11 Apr, 2023 05:12 am
@Kstanfie2303,
Well, whatever you want to call it, he's ignoring what happened before and pretended that it never occurred. And if it's the whole super nice restaurant thing, then I suspect he's throwing $$ around to get you off his back.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
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Reply Fri 14 Apr, 2023 09:27 am
Please read your post as if it were written by someone else. Listen to yourself. You certainly seem in peril to me.
0 Replies
 
 

 
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