Reply
Tue 14 Mar, 2023 04:38 pm
I’m afraid I have an issue about my bf's self centeredness. A few weeks ago he was having a minor procedure medical procedure and he wanted me to drive to him the night before so I could take him at five in the morning and then pick them up again a few hours later. I did agree to this but late in the afternoon the day I was supposed to leave my tire indicator went off on one of the tires so I knew that I either had a nail or something in that tire. I called immediately and said I’m gonna try to get the tire fixed now. But I don’t have any roadside assistance so you should be ready to consider taking a taxi or Uber to the procedure and then I’ll do everything I can to pick you up.
I did run around for tire repair and the only thing I could do was find a tire store to put some air in the tire. I called him back again and he seem to trivialize my concerns and said just come out tonight and you can get your tire fixed near the apartment where we are tomorrow. Not really knowing what to do but feeling guilty, so I went ahead and drove out in the dark 50 miles to the apartment. I got up early in the morning and drove him and then picked him up a few hours later and then finally got my tire fixed which turned out was a nail. I took care of him for 2 days until he was back on his feet. He has grown kids in his area who didn't even know he got the procedure but he could have reached out to either of them for a ride if he wanted. I told him he should have said that I don't want you to get stuck so I'll figure out how to get to the procedure but try to pick me up later in the morning - he never said any of this.
The point was that he was acting in my opinion, so much selfishly and wasn’t too concerned about what would happen if I got stuck. However, he was very appreciative of my efforts and thanked me many times.
I brought this up to him and told him that as partners were supposed to have each other‘s back but that was pretty bad what he did. He really didn’t apologize but rather just said look, I was really nervous about the procedure. I’m not really sure what we resolved but I feel better saying something of course.
I’m really torn. I care for him a lot and I believe he does too but the only way our relationship can move forward is for us to live together to avoid all of the travel.
I apologize if he is hurt by something I may have done or said but I never heard an apology or acknowledgement from him about me driving the night before his procedure. Instead, he just gave an excuse.
We generally have a great relationship but I'm concerned about this behavior. Maybe I expect too much?
@jespah,
I was thinking the same thing
My questions are, why didn't the selfish bastard a) find someone who lives in the same town to give him a lift, b) take a cab, and c) and did he give you any money for the gas?
She's trying hard to find someone who agrees with her and tells her that her boyfriend isn't a selfish, egotistical prick. Won't happen!
@CalamityJane,
I think so, too. (shakes head, rolls eyes)
Yep.
Why the justifications? Why the excuses? The guy is a grown man, capable of using the Uber app all by himself.