Have a found Mr wrong?

You'll have to talk to him directly about his behavior.

"Jeff (or whatever his name is), how do you think the visit went?"

Listen to what he says. If he somehow thinks everything was wonderful, then he's going to have to be schooled that it wasn't.

"You didn't make a good first impression."

If he asks why, tell him. "You were rude to my Aunt Mary. You tried to monopolize my time. You argued with my father at dinner. You didn't offer to help with the dishes." Whatever the issues are, he's got to know.

And then you can approach your decision from a better position.

Maybe you should leave him. Someone who doesn't make an effort when meeting the family for the first time may not be taking your relationship seriously.

Or, maybe your family is overreacting.

Only you can really answer that. But in the meantime, if he doesn't know what the problem is/was, or he plays dumb, tell him.

My family was gracious enough to have us stay in their apartment for five nights six days, and to provide their car so that we could go to see other relatives during the day. Mind you, they were my relatives, not my boyfriends, but nonetheless, they fed him lunch. He went to the pool, and he was otherwise entertained.

When we left there, he stopped at the grocery store to buy himself groceries and never once offered to buy for any other family members Being the ones we were staying with. When it came time to put some gas in the car and I was with my other family members, he never offered to pay for the gas, even though I looked at him to try to hint that he should chip in since I had already treated my family to a few dinners.

While he paid for one lunch, he didn’t pay for any of the dinners so all in all, my family felt that he was a taker, and received a free vacation. They claim he never said thank you for anything, help himself to anything in the refrigerator without asking and left his plates out etc. for them to clean, it may be a case where my family is really looking out for me and being somewhat overly cautious, but I need to know if there’s something literally because being in the relationship I may not be seeing everything as it stands. Again, it’s very odd, because we were visiting them. He typically is fairly generous to me it’s ironic that I took him for this visit so that they could get to know him better feel more comfortable with us moving forward together and it ended up doing just the opposite

I would have hoped he could be gracious especially meeting my family for the first time. Instead he told me he was upset with them for not asking him about himself and making him feel left out. Really? He could have asked them about themselves too.

As a ps I think he knows he screwed up because after the trip he said “so did you talk to your family about our trip? What was the postmortem?”

You need to talk about this.

A long talk.

He may just have been acting up because he was no longer the centre of your attention or there may be something else.

You don't know what transpired between him and your family when you weren't there.

There may be an understandable reason why he acted the way he did.

We don't know. Talk to him.

Been thinking about what happened and it makes sense since a week beforehand I included my partner when I took my adult son out to an expensive restaurant for his birthday. My partner didn’t give my son even a birthday card. He only sent his a text the day before to say happy birthday. This conduct is consistent.

Well, I think you know the answer to your question.

Perhaps you already know the answer. I still would have a talk with him and express your concerns and expectations. More communication is a necessity. He sounds either clueless or spoiled or both.

Is he perhaps broke? If so, how would he be able to afford buying a house?

He claims to have $7 million dollars which is a whole lot more than me!

Do you actually believe that?

I really don’t know. I do know he has an investment account and still pays for his kids’ graduate school even though they barely reach out to him.

He's a selfish little prick and the sooner you get rid of this freeloader and
loser the better! Unbelievable, that he is invited by your family and he doesn't even buy as much as flowers for your family, goes to the refrigerator without asking and doesn't even put gas in the car when he used it all the time.

He has no shame, no manners and no consideration for anyone but himself.
So let him be by himself, he deserves nothing more.

On the last day I bought some trash bags on amazon for my daughter after asking her if she needed them and my bf said I can’t believe you are buying your married daughter trash bags. I said she needs them and I asked her. What business is it if his? It’s my money.

We don’t see any description of the love you feel towards or from this guy. Clearly you have a list of inconsistencies and inconsideration. Why are you still with this guy?

We generally have a lot in common and have a loving relationship.

Except that he’s selfish, spoiled and inconsiderate and you’re not that way, according to your own words. That is a showstopper IMHO.

There should be more communication between you two regarding your family and what happened. Furthermore, if he has that sort of financial situation (millions) you probably have an imbalance of power. And that imbalance of power will create problems with compatibility in a marriage.

I discussed the concerns but never said anything to him like you’re cheap. I did say he had an issue with spending money sometimes. He seems to splurge on trips (which I pay half but participate fully in planning ) and usually pays for meals when it’s just the 2 of us. So let’s say he was not gracious when staying with my daughter (she says he never says thank you for anything).

I’m afraid I have another issue though which may connect with the self centered ness. A few weeks ago he was having a minor procedure medical procedure and he wanted me to drive to him the night before so I could take him at five in the morning and then pick them up again a few hours later. I did agree to this but late in the afternoon the day I was supposed to leave my tire indicator went off on one of the tires so I knew that I either had a nail or something in that tire. I called immediately and said I’m gonna try to get the tire fixed now But I don’t have any roadside assistance so you should be ready to consider taking a taxi or Uber to the procedure and then I’ll do everything I can to pick you up.

I did run around and the only thing I could do was find a tire store to put some air in the tire. I called him back again and he seem to trivialize my concerns and said just come out tonight and you can get your tire fixed near the apartment where we are tomorrow. Not really knowing what to do but feeling guilty. I went ahead and drove out in the dark 50 miles to the apartment. I got up early in the morning and drove him and then picked him up a few hours later and then finally got my tire fixed which turned out was a nail. The point was that he was acting in my opinion, so much selfishly and wasn’t too concerned about what would happen if I got stuck He was very appreciative of my efforts and thanked me many times.

I brought this up to him and told him that as partners were supposed to have each other‘s back but that was pretty bad what he did. He really didn’t apologize but rather just said look, I was really nervous about the procedure. We did talk about this along with the issues that came up in Florida and he said I’m glad we could talk about it because with Karen (his ex) he said she would hold it in for like 10 or 20 years and then it would really explode. I’m not really sure what we resolve but I feel better saying something of course.

In the end he said he was very hurt when in florida my daughter kept saying “when you move down here” and I told both her and my bf we’d only rent during the cold months and both seemed ok with that. Either way he felt left out and like no one wanted him on the trip so that may explain some of his bad behavior.

I’m really torn. I care for him a lot and I believe he does too but the only way our relationship can move forward is for us to live together to avoid all of the travel.

He’s been having me come down to him a lot to look for homes in his area. I don’t know if living with him is too risky.

Best Traits to wed in a man:
lazy, presumptuous, selfish, not appreciative,
stingy, angry, immature…awful.

If you had to drop one of the great traits of known heroes, which trait
would you drop?

You want this relationship to work so badly that you ignore all the red flags.
He is still a selfish prick - even how he handled the new situation with you driving 50 miles to his place to be his moral support and his chauffeur for his medical procedure. You're making so many excuses for him, I don't think you even realize how much you excuse his selfish behavior.

Moving forward and moving in with him would be a definite NO in my book,
but the choice is yours, of course! Good luck!

After more talking with him it seems from his perspective that he says he wants to live with me full time because he misses me when we aren’t together and living together as a couple feels more normal to him than only seeing each other on extended weekends. I suppose it doesn’t hurt that I’m expected to pay half of the new home. He said that after the current lease ends he’d be open to living in my home and helping to pay the cost until we find a new home we both like.
Can I not believe him in his motives that he wants to be with me?