Light-hearted stuff

Thank you.

Gotta love those Uncle John Bathroom Readers Full of inanities

In an average day, Americans sweat enough moisture to provide the city of Pittsburgh, PA, with a 24-hour supply of water.

When you exercise strenuously in hot weather, you can sweat away as much as two quarts of water in an hour.

Here are some toe-tapping' titles picked by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette for their "Annual All Time Best of the Worst Country Song Titles".

Get your tongue outta my mouth 'cause I'm kissing you goodbye

If you see me getting' smaller, it's cause I'm leaving' you

If heartaches were wine (I'd be drunk all the time)

I've got the hungrier for your love and I'm waiting in your welfare line

The last word in lonesome is 'me'

I'll marry you tomorrow but let's honeymoon tonight

Why do you believe me when I tell you that I love you when you know I've been a liar all my life

I don't know whether to kill myself or go bowling

I got in at 2 with a 10 and woke up at 10 with a 2

It ain't love, but it ain't bad

You're the reason our kids are so ugly

Mama get the hammer (there's a fly on papa's head)

No fear of any of that.

That sounds very much like a number Morecombe and Wise did once.

It didn't sound like country music, and when I googled it, it was a show tune from the film Royal Wedding starring Fred Astaire and Jane Powell.

I'm just quoting from The Best of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader from 1995

No fear of "exercising strenuously" on my part, either!

It struck a chord which is why I looked further.

I've not heard of any of the others.

It's on youtube, and it's actually quite good.

Yeah, I just listened to it - you're right.

I tried to find the Morecombe and Wise version, but no joy.

I can't remember which actress it was, it could be so many, as they had no problems getting famous guests Glenda Jackson and Diana Rigg both appeared on their show.

Some bumper stickers:

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pitfall.

Rehab is for quitters.

Give me ambiguity... or give me something else.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest gets the grease. The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.