How do i play this?

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Hi all. Long story short, i met this lass on Tinder a good while back now. We met up and became freinds. I have always liked her a whole lot. At the time, she was living 20 miles away, in a wee town.
fast forward about a year after meeting, my old neighbour next door dies. Who gets offered the flat. |Yup, this girl who i liked.
Since then, i have had her round for coffees and chats etc. I made her Xmas dinner at Xmas time. There is a mutual attraction there. She has said numerous times she would date me. But, like a complete numbskull, for some bizarre reason, I never made a move.

A few weeks ago, she started seeing this guy she met on Tinder. That seemed to set off a realisation for me, just about how much i liked this lass. It was Valentines day the other day, I gave her a card, some chocs and a nice bottle of wine. She really loved the gesture, she told me.

Over our time together, i have really grown very fond of her. I am really attracted to her.
She is coming over on sunday evening, to watch the BAFTA awards on tv. She is taking the wine with her, for us to drink.

My question is (whilst i know she is seeing this guy, albeit, very early days), im thinking i should use the time to do a little more self promotion and big myself up. Im sick fed up of missing out, when it comes to women. With this girl, i have told her i like her etc....that is a first!

So yeah, looking for others opinions on what i should do? What should i say. I am prepared to wait and see if this guy messes up. Way i see it, most of these guys on Tinder etc, arent legit. I am. Im looking for a proper relationship, in time.

In the meantime, i am more than suffering, for my own stupidty. Im like a lovesick puppy. Im hardly sleeping. My appetite is poor and i am constantly thinking of this lass.

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[+3] - Mame - 02/17/2023Don't overthink it, but do think about a female who's friendly and her. Look at all the indicators I mentioned. She may not be interested, but you know, if you want something you have to try....

@LoveMonkey,

Put a move on her on Sunday. She seems to like you, she moved next door to you, you are friends, she like your presents, your food, and is bringing wine. How much clearer can it be?

She's allowed to date if you don't make a move and a date isn't a relationship, so why wait to see how that develops? She's as free as a bird. She probably accepted because she'd like a little romance in her life.

Make a move. Give her a hug when you open the door. Make sure she doesn't drop the wine!

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@Mame,

Thank you for your reply Mame.
Strangely enough, I was planning on making a joke with her on sunday, about there being a new rule about giving me hugs when she arrives and leaves haha.

She occasionally does ask for a hug (and gets it) when she is in and even once gave me a peck on the cheek.

Im so crap with the ladies. I dont read signals so well. i say that, but if i knew she was 100% ok wih it....i would deffo be making moves on her. its the not knowing where i stand with her thats holding me back. But yes, I definitely want her to leave on sunday, knowing i am really really wanting to take things to the next level, but only when she feels right about it. I really want to do this right

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@LoveMonkey,

Don't overthink it, but do think about a female who's friendly and her. Look at all the indicators I mentioned. She may not be interested, but you know, if you want something you have to try. Just casually say, "So, do you want to go to X movie next week?" Or, "Can I take you out to that new restaurant? My treat." Honestly, sorry, it's been so long since I was asked out on a date (married) that a) I'm rusty, and b) I'm out of touch with how it's done these days.

But... you were both on Tinder for a reason, so there's that. Good luck and keep us posted!

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@Mame,

Thanks again for your advice.

Im decided....im gonna go for it tomorrow. Im going to talk about the connection i think is there. Im going to mention the fact that i believe fate has played a hand between us (due to the way we met and how it worked out) and im basically going to try and make her see, that i am in fact, a great option for her.
I been single this past 20 years. I havent been out, screwing around, messing women about. I have been living in hope, that one lass will come along and blow my socks off. Well, after 20 years of waiting, i think she might well have arrived (judging by how im feeling about this lass).

I have been watching vids about flirting signs etc....she does some of these things when around me. She is always playing with her hair for exapmle. Even i...mr Blind, can see that. I cant let this opportunity pass me by, any longer
Im going to leave her in no doubt, i like her for all the right reasons, and i would like to get to know her better. All of this will be done in a non creepy way.

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One month on and the situation is.....the lady in question is still seeing the same guy. We have hung out a few times since but i kept it respectful. She was telling me a couple of days ago, that she is finding Dating difficult....whatever that means?
In the meantime, i have been trying to move on with my life....by finding someone else. But im finding it hard to get this lass out of my mind. There cant be much worse feelings, than really liking someone a whole lot, knowing that they are with someone else. I really dont recommend this scenario, for anyone haha

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@LoveMonkey,

You never said whether you "went for it" or not. Did you and she rejected you? Did you ever tell her honestly how you feel about her? It is hard to tell you whether to forget about her or not if we do not know whether you told her your true feelings or not and if you did what her response was.

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@RPhalange,

Hello. Yeah....i told her i liked her etc....her response was, she didnt want to complicate our friendship. I feel that was just a cop out though...as about a week or two previous, before this guy came on the scene, she was telling me she would date me and if we were dating, she would get me out more etc.
So, i just got on with my life. A few weeks back, she sounded a bit dissapointed to hear that i was chatting to a few women on dating sites.
Also, she has been hanging around my flat/appartment much more lately. She isnt happy with the way this relationship with the guy she is seeing is going. Last weekend, she was round at mine and she said she felt like cancelling the visit she had planned, with her boyfrined, for the following night. Then the day after, She told me the that she nearly ended it with him.

So yeah, that is the state of play, so to speak. Im just getting on with my life. I do like her and care about her a lot...i genuinely do....but the crazy, intense desire i had for her, has eased up a whole lot. I kind of got used to the fact she had a guy on the scene. At first it was like torture. Now, it doesnt bother me.

One thing is for sure....i do not have a clue what went on this past 2 months. This intense desire for my neighbour came from nowhere...lasted about 5 weeks, then left me, as quickly as it arrived.
Who knows what the next while has in store for me. Im wondering if my neighbour is MAYBE got a touch of FOMO about me. Maybe im completely wrong. I really dont know. I am real crap at reading situations like this. But i think she does still have a wee thing for me...so to speak.

But, bottom line remains, as i type this, she is with somone.

How do i play this?

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