Firstly, I hope I'm not breaking any rules here... I am new here, and I would like to be informed if there is a rule against making multiple posts/threads, considering I once got banned brief
according to my Dad, anyway.
And both she and my Dad excelled at school, were valedictorians, and... I think each of them at least sorta set their sights high in life, or at least... wanted to prove they could really be something. Especially her.
Also, please note that although neither of them have been formally diagnosed, it is highly suspected that both these individuals (the aunt I am speaking of here, and my Dad) have Aspergers.
She ended up attending a Bible seminar straight out of college, where she fell head over heels in love with a guy... who did not return her affections. Instead of accepting that and moving on, she uprooted her entire life and moved to a neighboring state to follow him. Somehow, I guess he did end up slipping through her fingers (good for him!) but... she ended up meeting a different guy and chasing after him in the same area... someone with the same first name, no-less.
He wasn't interested in her either. He was interested in someone else. But my aunt managed to wedge her way between them, by at least getting herself pregnant and pressuring the man to marry her in order to do the "right thing".
Over a decade and three children later, they got divorced. But she was still so proud of the fact that she had, at least, managed to keep that guy and the woman he was actually interested in apart. She even bought the house that those two had once lived in while they were a thing! And continues to stay there to this day, despite talking several times in the past about how much she hates the house.
Anyway, she has simply proven to be one of the most manipulative, greedy and controlling people I have ever known... if you want me to list some examples of some things she's done, perhaps I can at a future point in time, but....
One primary example I really want to focus on here is... during one of the last times we were in touch with her, she admitted to my Mom at least a couple of times that her dream/ideal reality would be the following:
If she could just have it her way, everyone in her family would... not live in the same house exactly, because she would still want her space reserved for herself and her kids, (all of whom are grown now...) but... she would like everyone to live in some kind of interconnected building where her family would live in one space, my household unit (Mom, Dad, me and my brother) would live in another part of it, and her and Dad's sister and maybe her grown children might live in the other part of it....
And more importantly... she herself would be the head of it all, everyone would answer to her, and she would be responsible and have access to everyone's money and what got done with it.
And nobody would ever be allowed to talk back to her or disagree with her. And we would all be a family, and... "This is how God meant it to be." Her own words.
It's distressing to see this generation judge so harshly. Have you ever been In Love? The heart and soul, I'd do anything thing for you Love?
Because if you haven't you sure are missing out on one of the best things this life has to offer. Don't even get me started about divorce. That's a different kind of discussion.
You talk about your aunt as a sleazy whore who just takes any ole man. You're describing her actions but don't understand the passion, history or motives behind what she did or is doing.
Making that hump over 50 brings alot of different perspectives. The thought of knowing you have more years behind you than in front of you makes a very interesting conversation. Have you had that conversation with her? Do you know her, understand who she is and what she wants?
At this stage she wants to make sure her loved ones are taking care of. She wants them close and healthy and able to lean on each other the way families do it best.
Maybe take a step back and really look. And listen. Maybe you'll learn that back in the day, women didn't own property. They needed a husband's signature to open their own bank account. Society expected women to get married and have babies regardless of their talents, aspirations or wants.
Maybe after knowing all of that, maybe you'll gain perspective on her. Maybe even a little admiration.
Or maybe you're get a self absorbed princess who's had everything handed to her. So show us who YOU are.
I've already had a young whipper snapper come into my life at least once. She once told me I'm absolute trash for not having the same opinions as her and for not "turning my life around" in the way she feels I should. =)
Also... I guess you aren't reading my posts,
cuz I clearly stated we have already tried talking to her. If she wants us to learn from her, then she also needs to learn how to listen to us and be willing to compromise, not just shut us down or backstab us, or talk to other people behind our backs.
Anywho, I'm done with this conversation, especially since... I guess it's pretty fruitless anyway, and there is nothing further to be gained here.
I would like to say thank you for the attention though, because one of the reasons I come here is to have people interactions, and to see what others might say, and I have received that at least. So I would like to give everyone who's posted in this thread a very fond thank you, and I wish all of you well. *moves onto other topics now*