@msolga,
I can accept death. I understand it happens. I understand that it is a part of life. I hate to say it, but in my short 27 years I have seen many lives come to an end. Some where far to soon, others were probably over do, and many were right on time (though I assume all are on time in the big picture). But like you say, it is the fact of someone so close to you, that has been there, from day one, suddenly not being there that I have a problem with.