BEING GAY IS A CHOICE

Maybe stop pretending that being gay is a choice, rather than something you fundamentally are, like a person with blue (or whatever color they are) eyes.

Let me ask you this. Until six years ago I was living a straight life. Had untold sexual acts with women-never had any desire to be sexually involved with a man. I started watching man with women porn and getting excited. Long story, short--started watching gay porn and in matter of time I was having sex with men and enjoying it. Are you suggesting I was gay all my life and would not have realized it if I did not start watching gay porn?
By, the way, since I am gay and with my Catholic religious background and my involvement in the community,-- it is extremely difficult to come out gay----I AM IN A CLOSET AND CAN'T GET OUT--HOW DO I GET OUT?. DO I EMBRACE BEING PUBLICLY? LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR ADVISE---THANK YOU

I know plenty of men that got married, had kids then came out. I’ve been out forever, never even been with a woman. You seem to me more concerned about what people in the community and church will think about you. People who don’t except me for who I am are not in my life and I’m better off without them.

I do not think being gay is a choice either. It is just who you are and sometimes it takes an external stimulus to ignite that spark inside.
I am very heterosexual and I do not have any desire at all for gay sex. So, if being heterosexual is not a choice, I don't believe being homosexual is either.

1. Will or does your particular community not accept gay people? If so, it may be time to find another.

2. What is all this about 'coming out'? Why not just be who you are? You don't have to make a statement about it; just be. People will either figure it out or not. People will either care or not. People will either accept you or not.

3. Your life is about you. Don't waste your time caring what others think. They're not that important.

4. You could contact others with a religious background who are in your position - perhaps online - and get some advice and perspective from them.

5. I agree with McGentrix's last sentence. Beautiful summation.

My experience which of course is limited to my particular region/age group, etc.

I have experienced people who thought they were straight and then felt they were gay and the opposite. I think sometimes people change over time or maybe they were always one way vs. another. In any case to be honest who cares? Your personal life is just that personal.

I also think younger people for the most part, are more accepting. It seems with the younger crowd it really ain't no big deal. As long as you are not harming anyone and both partners are in agreement how you live your personal life is of no concern to others.

I also know many people that are very faith/Christian and fully supportive of people that are gay. Maybe it is the area where I live. I know Catholic families and other Christian families and believe it or not there are Christian churches that marry gay couples.

It might be good to do like someone else said on here, to do a search for a faith based group that is accepting of gays and reach out. Maybe you will find a whole new set of friends those that will simply accept you because you are a kind and caring person rather than judging you based on who you sleep with.