What should I do?

I’ve been with my partner for six years and in the last 4 there has been physical abuse. I left him three weeks ago. Since then we have been arguing and also talking calmly. We have two children together so I’m trying to make things civil between us but I’m just so angry and upset with him. We have started counselling and are discussing what made our arguments bad at the beginning but nothing has yet been discussed about the physical things. My partner admits that what he is done is wrong and crossed a line but that he wants us both to understand how he got to that place. He also says I’ve been controlling in our relationship by often telling him what to do. I agree I can be bossy and want my own way with things but that controlling him is never what I’ve intended to do. He would like us to rebuild , understand how we got to this bad place and look to the future. I just don’t think I can trust him. I don’t want to break up our family but I also don’t think I want to be with him. What should I do?