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Working where my wife was sexually harassed

 
 
Reply Fri 7 Oct, 2022 02:31 pm
My wife and I met at work. Before we dated or got married, she was sexually harassed, her reports ignored, stalked, and sued in civil court for defamation. She no longer works here, but I still do. The guy who did it all is gone, but some of the management who dropped the ball is still the same. Sometimes me telling her about my day brings up memories and really gets to her. I try to avoid it, but she's my best friend and I tell her everything. I wondered if anyone who's experienced secual harassment and stuff has suggestions about how to recover and move on. I never push her to move on, but she really spirals over it. She gets upset, then gets so angry with herself over the fact she hasn't let it go. I want to help, but I don't want to push her and make her feel bad for her emotions. Any suggestions?
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Fri 7 Oct, 2022 02:53 pm
@Piratehippo,
Therapy.

She's been through a lot, and needs help healing from it.

And I would also seriously ask myself, if I were you, if the job is worth it seeing how it affects her. I recognize that jobs do not grow on trees, but if there's a possibility of a comparable or even better option, you might want to start exploring it.
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neptuneblue
 
  3  
Reply Sat 8 Oct, 2022 07:03 pm
@PoliteMight,
People like you underscore the trauma of of sexual harassment and need to just stop. Your "advice" shifts blame from the perpetrator to the victim. You disregard the truth, that this behavior is unwarranted, unwanted and against the law.

It does not matter if a guy doesn't know if a woman is married or not. It's still against the law to harass women. It got the perpetrator fired from his position and landed himself in a Court of Law. Re-read OP's opening statement.

How do you not know this?
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Mame
 
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Reply Sun 9 Oct, 2022 08:48 am
If you can't or won't get another job, just STOP talking about your work day. That is what you say triggers her. By sharing, you are continuing and adding to her distress. Just STFU! What's wrong with you that you haven't seen that?
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