Was This Cheating What Is Your Vote or advice?

40 plus years Happily married young both at 17 years old with our Daughter already born two months before we decided to marry.Hard to find employment working two jobs and no medical or former trade I decided and she agreed it would be good for me to join the Army for income,training of a Trade and possibly a long term future. Only married 4 months left for the Service done the enlistment. I got out at the end of the enlistment found work in two months and worked a full time always until retired.Never ever went out on my wife like most of my male friends had done. After just a short time home from service a family member told me my wife had gone out with my best friend at least once maybe more ( best man from our marriage day being a life long friend I had know but she never really knew him until we met and married) while I was away in service.

I decided to ask her directly if she went out with him thinking it most likely was not a big deal and she had just never mentioned it. When I ask her she denied it ever happened! I also just for the hell of it ask my best friend if he went with my wife while I was away and he as well denied it! So as time passed quite a bit maybe a couple of years or a little more like three or so. I was out riding with a newer friend on motorcycles I knew and we became good friends actually ended up a very good friend for about 30 years. We were taking about where My best friend had divorced who married a couple years after we did and he was engaged to marry another that my Biker buddy knew well. He said his marriage wont last he cant stay true to his women! And then he said years back I saw him out with your wife before she was your wife a couple times when we practiced music at his house! Glad your wife never ended up with him cause your wife is really a great friend and girl! I then found out my new biker buddy was there and seen them,he never knew he was telling on my wife. He never knew me before I went in the service. I asked him when it was he seen them the times at Practice? It was in exact time while I was first in the service! Wife had went out with him while I was in boot camp, so less than 30 days after I went in she was out with my best friend. I ask my biker buddy if they were having a relationship with moves or screwing around and he said he never knew just seen them together a few times there smoking and having drinks while they practiced music that she came with him in his car and left while both were drinking and smoking.

So ask my wife several times again right after I knew if she was out with him she kept same story asking I did believe her? I backed way off going around my best friend who I decided was not any longer. I would come home one time he was my house and left as soon as I got there and I smelled smoke in the room. She denied and said he stopped by to see what we was doing was all. I watched her over the next years nothing took place I could see. My wife Sister was out drinking with me one nite and playing pool while were waiting on my wife and her Sister had told my best friend came by her moms house across the road from her place and picked my wife many times while I was overseas thinking nothing about what she just told me! I them asked my wife little sister one night a bit of time after that to find out my wife was picked up by my best friend BEFORE WE WAS MARRIED TOO! not thinking about what she told me and was talking at Christmas time telling what a good friend my best friend was and to my wife and her family too!

I confronted my wife again after learning so much more and asked her one night again which she denied as always and decided to tell her only what my Bike friend told me and that he was there and how. She must have remembered he was there before he knew us! So she said yes I was there and did go out with him ONLY ONE TIME and nothing sexual ever took place not even a move from him or her,she was just bored and went with him to practice once! Times past I asked again she kept same story ONE TIME I decided to let know it was more than once and told he what one sister told me that he picked her up at her moms while was overseas! She denied it called her sisters both liars!

Fast forward more years later I had too much to drink and told her just a little more she admitted she went out him more than once but nothing ever happened and it was maybe two times she went out but never at her moms did he come get her and she went out fast forward more years she finally after many discussions tells me in fact went with him and he picked her up many times and she didn't know how many times,could not remember. I asked why did she lie to me to many years and she used the excuse I would get mad but NOTHING ever happened with them ever not even a move from either one took place! So really what was rough was when I asked what do two people do that is young smoking,drinking and knock out like you with him for 4 and 5 hours times you went out? She never curses or ever gets voice up ever and yells at me real loud its not what you think it was and I NEVER FUCKED HIM!! Blew me away. Then she cries and sobs and denied she cheated on me! I told her that her years of denial and going out with him was in fact cheating and I was hurt very deeply and have been for years. She then yells I NEVER FUCKED HIM!! You never believe me! I told her your right I don't believe you ! You already cheated no matter what you think! If it was innocent why did you not tell me? Why did he not tell me? Why him every time for years and before no one else you went to see cause you were board. You never hung with him in my presence or ever went anywhere with him when I was around ALL THESE YEARS it ONLY IN SECRECY!
I held on to raise three kids totally and set financially I told her I just wanted the truth for years I forgave you already for cheating on me. Why did you do this to me? What did I do wrong? Tell me all of it please and what are you and he hiding? She claims she loves me no one else always has nothing with him ever and she never messed around him.

What does a man do with his? How can a man ever know the truth that has ripped his soul apart? what is she hiding and I know she had to have relationship with him and was messing around him or why else would she risk all by not telling?

What is your opinion of this very long story?