"You're not going to spend all of my money"!!!!!

Tell me how you feel about this!

My wife and I are not on the same page financially. She thinks things are fine the way they are. She has her account and I have mine and the only time we should compile money is when it comes to a household bill. We have ajoint account which pretty much stays close to zero at all times. The only time there's money in it is when we have to pay a household bill. She puts her half in and I put mine in and the bill gets paid. I've been telling her for years we need to have one account where all money goes into and then we can get on a budget. It's hard to have a household budget when the two people have individual accounts. We live in a rental home and have been for a number of years. All she talks about is getting out of this house and move to somewhere else. Right now we're paying $100 for a 3 bedroom house, but she wants to to move. I told her that the way rental prices are now if we move she can best bet our rent will go up by a considerable amount. 2 bedroom homes are probably running $1500 or more in this market. And remember, earlier this year my wife was surprised to get court papers from the sheriff's dept because of a credit card she got without my knowledge and maxed it out for more than $10k. She's now paying that back herself. She now has to pay more than $400 a month extra for the next few years till that debt is satisfied. But again, she thinks we can just move and go on vacations or cruises simply because she wants to take a week off work every few months. And I'm not talking about 1 good vacation a year, she thinks we should be able to take multiple trips a year because she works a month then just needs some time off.

She makes more than me but she refuses to tell me how much she makes. Her job allows them to work overtime so she has extra money coming in. On my job if my manager sees I'm going to have more than 40 hours a week he'll send me and email to tell me to clock out 15 or 20 minutes early that day so I only get 40 hours on the week. And now with inflation the way it is when I get paid and pay half the bills I'm left with very little to last me till the next pay day 2 weeks later. When I get paid I bring home a little less than $1000 and once you pay half the bills there's not much left to do anything else with. my wife, on the other hand, has extra money left to order things she wants or do things with. I haven't filled up my truck but once this year because I'm trying to hold onto some funds to do things around the house. I told her that since she makes more than me and gets OT paying the bills should be based on a percentage and not just half and half.

The other night we got into a conversation about budgeting and I told her we needed to change things and put everything into one account. This is what she told me. "I'm sorry you don't have enough money to do things but you're not going to spend all of my money." However, anytime something's wrong with her car she expects me to fix it for her for FREE. Ok, since you don't want me to spend all your money then take your car to a shop and pay them to fix it since you got it like that. She is always getting on me because she'll say something in wrong with her car but I won't just drop everything and run outside in the heat to look at it while she sits quietly in the house playing around on Facebook. Oh, and with that she plays these Facebook Bingo games and even hosts them and sometimes she wins, most times she doesn't. So that's money she's paying into play those games that should be going towards a household bill. And when she hosts the game she claims that she gets a cut of the winnings which, according to her, she only gets $2 or $3 for hosting the game.

Yeah, you guys are always telling me how divided we are but when I try to do things to bring us closer together and move us forward I'm always met with resistance. She wants to buy a house but we have zero savings and I refuse to start that process when we don't even have a joint account. Who is going to lend a married couple any money when they aren't even together financially?

How would you deal with your spouse if they told you "you're not going to spend all of my money" when all you're trying to do is position things for the greater good and get the house on a budget? Set up a savings plan, monitor what you / we spend, and position ourselves to be able to take a descent vacation every now and then or buy a house. Again, I'm tempted to tell her that when something is wrong with her car again to take "her money" and drive it to a shop and pay them.