@engineer,
engineer wrote:
As with most of your questions, I think you have bigger problems here. The two of you need financial counseling. Money seems to be a big deal in your relationship, and you are having lots of problems there. But to the question you asked:
- You don't have to use an FSA card to buy cough medicine and if she does use it, it will just apply to next month when money is applied.
- Maxing a card and having a credit card payment agreement is a red flag. That card likely comes with a hefty interest rate. The interest is likely over $100/month. She needs to find ways to pay that down much more quickly. Financial counseling could help there. Cutting out things like takeout lunches could likely allow you to increase that payment by $200-$300/month which would make a big difference. The laptop falls into this category, but maybe she needs it for some reason or her existing one is having issues. I would ask questions before making assumptions.
- Regardless of how you feel about her and her son, that's her business and not a hill I would choose to die on.
- If the money is not on her card then she can't use it to purchase anything. It's not like they will just let her use it then deduct it from whatever amount they add to her card next month.
- As far as the C.C. she got it without me knowing and maxed it out then when she couldn't keep up with the monthly payments she just stopped paying. When you owe over $10k on a C.C. sending $25 or $50 a month isn't going to do a thing to bring down the bill. Then she tried to blame me for the bill being so high. "Well, I paid our water bill" or, "remember when we went out to dinner last month, how do you think I paid for that?" If two people have their own accounts and one person pays for the other do you typically ask the other person what card they're using to pay for it? No! You just assume they are paying from their bank account, not a credit card they didn't tell you about. And as far as the laptop, my wife had one but it broke and she didn't have the money to replace it. She's been dying to get a new one for years but it's not like she "had to" have one. There's a difference between a want and a need. So now that's a new bill she's gotta pay for each month. No, she didn't pay for it outright. She's making monthly payments on that too. And in regards to financial counseling she won't do that because that would mean she would have to let it be known, especially to me, what she is making and all the money she has coming in. She likes to play and host Bingo games on Facebook and when I ask how much she gets from that she said sometime she'll win and only get maybe $20 or $30 depending upon how many people are playing. But when she hosts a game she gets a cut from the winnings, and again she says that she may only get $2 or $3 for hosting the game. I refuse to believe any of that.
- In regards to her grown son I too have a grown daughter and I look at life this way When you're old enough to move out and make your own decisions then you need to start taking care of yourself financially too. I do not buy my daughter's medications no matter what. This kid is 28 and at what point is he going to start worrying about his own health and not relying on mommy to buy his medication while he rides around in his car all day long.
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