@Bgrooster,
You gotta "romance the stone". Doesn't matter how much work you put in the house, she is their for your needs. Here are some things you could do
1. Pretend she is a virgin, and get to her that way. Do not say what your doing and proceed by working your from first base, second base, and then home..
2. Talk about making life exciting for both of you and maybe you and her could get some operations. Like maybe you could get you cock extended, work on those abs, and even do weighted swimming in the pool, and bench pressing . Older women like hard muscular men by default. Trust me any girl ( like my mom ) goes insane for a nice muscular man who is fit and trim. That is what you should be doing. Then for her she could maybe get some implants, get into palates, maybe work her legs out and make them tight, get some wigs going on, or even some hair implants. AKA "pimp your ride out" and then both of you could maybe be part of the swingers club and see if anybody is interested. AKA "$#$@ my wife" club. Parade her around like some kind of trophy your with.
3. Pretend you first time you met her and how much you tried to impress her and make it something beautiful. Girls love to travel, girls love to dance, and girls love the fancy stuff. If a girl could live on a boat they would. I am not kidding.
I am not saying cash in your house and belongings and get a huge 90 footer sailboat ( or whatever McCafee had with guns on board for safety ) with your retirement funds and make it your love nest.
I am saying girls are like "Take me here, take me there, fakk me there, fakk me their". Keeps the economy going round and round.
1. They like to travel
2. They like to be appreciated.
3. They like when you are muscular and clean cut like a military guy.
4. They like a baby-face ( that being said you could do skin treatment for your face, micro-resurfacing, etc takes time to heal)
5. They enjoy the chase.
6. They do not like fear.
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The reality many of them are just $#@$$ and makes you miserable no matter what. Yes you want "her" and for what?
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Finally why not suggest to her that both of you just sleep around with somebody else. I know that is a button to push but again you could have yours and she have hers. You have people who do that when they are young.
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Bottom-line is this, you can not cry about nonsense around the house. That is childs play. You know what this woman my dad is married to say to him "You could go" and this is the woman he commit adultery with. She got his money, time, health, and everything that he was from him away from me and my mother. My mother just alone like his. That being said I took care of my grandmother and honest to gosh I think that she never enjoyed any of the sex she had at all and possible had a pillow over head at times. That is the insanity about all women in my opinion and stupidity.
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Finally she is your wife and if you want sex then go for it. Not like your penis is a weapon of sorts. If she can not stand to be in bed with you, I have no idea what is wrong or right, I want love in my life. Not a border-line lesbian on her way out dragging me into the ground with her.