One mistake a lot of parents make is to try impose their moral standards on their children instead of allowing them to develop their own.
The OP's fixation on cannabis is a case in question. Many people don't think that consuming cannabis is at all immoral.
In fact some people from countries where cannabis is commonplace and culturally acceptable feel that stopping them gor possessing, smoking or eating cannabis is racist.
Cannabis? How did we get on this subject? My views on that are perfectly clear. I do not do it. Nor have I done it. Nor will I ever do it. You will not do it in my house. I can't stop anyone from doing it out on their own but you're not going to bring it to my home. Same with my youngest step-son when he had to move back home with us after he and his gf got into it. He loves to be high all the time and he has this constant smell of weed on him at all times. I will not tolerate that smell in my home and I let him know that long before he moved back home. When he came home a few times smelling like weed I quickly reminded him of the house rules. He kept doing it so I made the decision to tell him he could not come back here. He slept in his car in our driveway for several weeks. Cannabis is not legal in our state yet so I can't look at it and say "well it's legal in some places so it should be legal here too."
I'm not a big drinker either. If I buy a six pack of beer, which I rarely do, the majority of them will sit in my fridge for months before I drink another one. I usually only buy a beer now and again it cook with. Brats, or some type of beer battered something. Now with that being said, I don't want an alcoholic or even a drunk person coming to my house either.
Everyone sets rules for their house that suits them. I'm not downing you for your views on weed. If you like it and do it so be it. I would just rather not be in a confined space like a car with you smelling like it. What I'm trying to say is that you can't live in my house and not follow my rules. When my rules don't suit you anymore then it's time for you to find your own place and make your own rules. Which goes back to another point I was trying to convey. When kids feel the need to no longer live under their parent's house or even their rules they adopt their own. Things we taught them or tried to teach them may not fit with how they want to live their lives at the present moment. If you want to go out and sleep with as many women as possible and get most of them pregnant then don't be mad when you get paid and all you get is a check stub because child support is kicking your tail at the end of the week.
My step-son was wrong for his actions and he knows he was. But now he's the one really suffering simply because neither baby momma will allow him to see either of his children. Same thing goes with my wife. The oldest child's mom has let me know that she is fed up with my step-son and his mom for their actions towards her these past 6 years and she is choosing to keep the child from coming to our house. Now with that being said, I honestly do not think that if I were to call her and say I wanted to stop by and see our granddaughter she would have no problem with that whatsoever. My problem is that I can never let my wife know I still can see our granddaughter but she can't. You have to think about your actions and the consequences they may bring. My wife has done on several occasions to call this little girl's other grandmother and tell her how disrespectful her daughter is to her. Why? Because she feels that she's doing her son wrong. You should never call anyone to tell them how their child is. She wouldn't want anyone calling her to tell her how her son is, would she? You can't do things like that but still expect to get to see your granddaughter every other weekend.
Am I wrong for not siding with my wife and step-son? Maybe. But I just think that a woman who is the primary custody and caregiver of a child should be getting support from the father. I've been telling this girl since our granddaughter was born to no be slack on him. Take him downtown for support. Again, I got full custody of my daughter when she was about 2 years old and in our custody agreement I was awarded support from the mom. Right now that woman owes me thousands of dollars in back support. Will I ever see a dime of it, probably not. But just like when we were going through the custody fight my attorney had me set up something where a certain percentage of my income went to support so the judge can see that I was paying. I didn't miss that money at all. But when things were reversed then I was looked at and a low life man for making a woman pay support for her child. My step-son walks around like he's the best dad in the world but hasn't sent one dime into the child support agency since either of his kids were born. I have very low tolerance for guys who claim to be good / great dads but only see their kids once in a while and who believe that support is a pack of pampers, some new Jordans, or a trip to the park every now and then.