Why do I care if a co-worker (girl) think of me, and why do I think she likes me?

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first, im at 40+ age, Im have fully and lovling married with my lovley life.
the co-worker she is in her 25+, she is the secretary of the office and she communicate with us sales department, we are 8 sales mens, the communication done by meeting in the office, and by other ways, lime calls, emails, whatsapp, on a daily day.

the communication with her was normal and healty strictly work communication, when she was new…
as the time pass the communication start to be more friendly (normal thing i think), jokes, small talk, and she start to open up (not only to me) and show her personality, a little bit shy, confused some time, its look like unmature behavior…

last month when we was at office in a confrence with some our co-workers about some work issue related to secretary duty we arguee about it, and we start raise our voice each other (not too long) something like 1 minutes…(i was wrong about that issue btw…).

after that she act normal, but from then ive notice a change, that she dont call or texting more often like she used to be, also when she text me a question on whatsapp i replay within minute, but she is not…its take her long time to replay by whatsapp (work related). its this mind games play? since then i care she is happy or not, trying to make her laugh…

when she calls or text i still make her laugh, and we keep things like normal…
But something make me feel she is like me (in romantic way) i dont know why…
ive notice when i come to the office she start to laugh with one of the other sales men, but it doesnt look naturelly…
And when we are alone in the office we talk and have conversations, laugh, but sometime its look like its hot and cold mind games…for romance or mybe to build her ego or self esteem.
Im not feel that i “love” her, but i all the time think about that “mistake” on that confernce…because now the stress between us is high.

a lot of questions running in my head, does its mean she intresting me? or what is that? mybe i just imagine like a wishfull thinking? mybe she just nice and its all in my head?
but why im care if she will text or call me today that we have a good laugh?

I know that its normal to have emotional attach in workplace…but if this is the case i cant take the stress of it, im avoiding come to the office (when she is there), and its start to make me overthinking what i did wrong…and choosing words when talking to her…

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 362 • Replies: 5

@coleg,

Dude, you're married and bored.

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This is your work wife. Someone you do a little harmless flirting and talking ... Nothing more...at least that is what it should stay as.

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@Linkat,

Good point, but how can i play this tension stressing game?
Should i ignore her, like not making eye contact?

You think she aware of that tension?

1 Reply

@coleg,

I'm trying to wrap my head around how you think a work romance with this person is a possibility.

Let's start with... You are her father's age. Yeah, just let that sink in a minute.

Then, on top of that, you are married. As in, yes, a WIFE. Which, I'm guessing, hasn't been told of your flirty, laughter filled behavior with the work colleague. I'm sure if you asked your wife if she thinks the "hot and cold mind games" may come to a mutual understanding for an office romance, she'll have plenty to say about that.

Next, we'll move to your atrocious behavior in the conference, where you proceeded to tell the Office Secretary about her job description as if you were her boss and signed her paycheck. And was proven wrong. If I were YOUR boss, I'd have fired you for that. If you can't manage to communicate effectively without having "raise your voice" to the person who is the company's backbone then you're not working for me. You acted poorly, which you acknowledge and that's good.

What isn't good is you thinking she cares about you in any thing more than in a professional manner. You've proven, not only to her, but to other people as well, that you think you are somehow superior in stature in the company. They laugh about you and you caught them doing it and it sailed right over your head. She now has seen your true colors, and she now knows to stay away from you.

This isn't sexual tension, it's just plain tension from having to work with someone she doesn't like but has to put up with. You, the annoying salesperson who thinks he's better than the rest and clearly, isn't.

Just leave her alone. Before you get fired for Harassment.

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@coleg,

If you feel anything sexual or romantic then simply leave her alone…you are likely to cross the line.

I have had male friend in the office where it is harmless flirting with no intention for either of us .. good friendship that I call my work husband.

If you have more feelings than that …stay away

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Why do I care if a co-worker (girl) think of me, and why do I think she likes me?

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