How many vacations do you take per year?

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My wife has this idea that we should always be traveling to this location or that destination simply because she's never been there. She's never been to NY so she wants to plan a trip. Never been to Vegas but wants to go. Always thought about Hawaii so let's start planning. The thing is this, we travel enough. When we come back from one vacation she's already planning the next time we can take a few days off work and drive somewhere. This year alone we're taking a few days to go back to Charleston, SC in June. We went a few years ago and loved it. In Oct we are planning to go back to our state's State Fair. Again, went a few years ago and loved it. A few years ago we took a few days and went to the beach. Yesterday we made plans to go to our niece's college graduation and spend a few days. Here's the thing, anything I want to do she claims she can't get off work. But the minute she wants to do something she can always seem to get the days off.

Every year my family would plan a long weekend during the Labor day weekend to just either rent a beach home or a mountain home and just go rest for the weekend. And every year in Jan we all put in for that Fri off. Every year my wife says that her manager as blocked some days where no one can take off and surprisingly, the Fri before Labor day is that one day. We haven't gone in a few years because of covid but yesterday my sister sent out a group text to say we're planning to travel again this year and she wanted to know who's in. I always take the Fri before Labor day off just in case. When I asked my wife she said she couldn't take that day off. Labor day is in Sept and this is just Feb but she already knows she can't get off.

Ok, here's the meat of this forum. Yesterday morning her sister sent out a group text to say that she would be using their parent's time share points and wants all of us to go to Orlando, FL for the full week of Christmas. My wife immediately wanted to know if we were going. I told her I am not committing to something like that since we have already planned a few getaway trips this year. She got all upset. Then it hit her. "Wait a minute, I was suppose to use the time share points this year so why is my sister using them again?" Now she wants to plan another trip this year so she can say she got to use the points. "Let's go to MD." "Let's go to NY" "Let's o to Vegas." "What about Los Angeles?" We're not independently wealthy by any means. And if you remember from an earlier post she/we have to pay off a $16k+ credit card debt she made several years ago and didn't tell me she had the card. I honestly think my wife looks at life like "what do I want to do now and I'll figure out how to pay for it later."

My question to everyone is this. How many vacations do you take per year? Are you taking one good week in the summer or are you taking a few days here and there to just do a quick weekend jaunt? Even when I just take a Fri or Mon off from my job just to get a long weekend then she's upset I didn't tell her so we could plan a getaway. Sometimes I just want a day off to sleep late and just relax my mind. Taking a day off doesn't mean I want to book a hotel somewhere and spend several hundred dollars so we can do something together. Are you taking a few days off every few months to go somewhere?

She's mad I don't want to take another vacation with her even though we are already scheduled for several this year already.

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@Barry2021,

Sounds to me like you really don't want the answer to this question but want to vent about your wife and how she seems unfair. Not going to get into that again. Sometimes in your vents you sound completely unreasonable and sometimes in your rants she sounds completely unreasonable .. One thing I do realize is it makes no sense to support you or not support you as we are only hearing your side of things. But use a legit question to hide the fact that you simply want everyone to agree your wife is unreasonable.

The number of vacations and where they are and how expensive etc is completely dependent on the individuals involved ...their likes and their financial resources. The number I take a year varies and is dependent on our finances and what we have going on...I am taking vacation time to move my daughter out of college....my husband is taking vacation time to meet up with his former marine buddies...we are all taking a week to go to Montana for a family reunion. In the past we have done almost any variety of vacation from camping to going to a beach resort to seeing historic sites, for sporting events, going skiing and for things like Disney to meeting up with family or friends. It simply depended on what our current situation is and what is important to us at the time.

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@Linkat,

Linkat wrote:

Sounds to me like you really don't want the answer to this question but want to vent about your wife and how she seems unfair. Not going to get into that again. Sometimes in your vents you sound completely unreasonable and sometimes in your rants she sounds completely unreasonable .. One thing I do realize is it makes no sense to support you or not support you as we are only hearing your side of things. But use a legit question to hide the fact that you simply want everyone to agree your wife is unreasonable.

The number of vacations and where they are and how expensive etc is completely dependent on the individuals involved ...their likes and their financial resources. The number I take a year varies and is dependent on our finances and what we have going on...I am taking vacation time to move my daughter out of college....my husband is taking vacation time to meet up with his former marine buddies...we are all taking a week to go to Montana for a family reunion. In the past we have done almost any variety of vacation from camping to going to a beach resort to seeing historic sites, for sporting events, going skiing and for things like Disney to meeting up with family or friends. It simply depended on what our current situation is and what is important to us at the time.

No, I don't want to argue with anyone either. It's just that we have already planned several getaways this year. Some for just the two of us and others to do with family. Side Note: It's cool when it's her family that wants to do something but she can never seem to get off when my family wants to do something. But that's another story for another day. Again, I don't mind a vacation like the next person but we're already planned several this year and the only reason she wants to plan another one is because she doesn't want her sister to use all the time share points. And when I mention to her or even say we have enough stuff planned this year already I usually get the argument "you just never want to do anything with me or what I want to do." It's like I'm always arguing with a kid who can't have their way. No lie, she just sent me a text to ask if we plan to do anything else this year (use the time share points) because her sister wants to plan something for her daughter's college graduation, which we're planning taking a few days off from work to go celebrate with the family , and she wanted to know if we weren't going to use them then she was going to try and plan something for her daughter's graduation. Talking to my wife just doesn't work because when she wants to do something then I should just submit a vacation request with my job and hope I can get those days off so she can feel like we're a happy couple taking multiple vacations a year. The college graduation in May. Charleston, SC on June. The state fair in Oct. No, these aren't extravagant getaways like Hawaii, Rome, or a 7 day cruise but it's what we can afford. She has this millionaire mindset on a minimum wage budget. You feel me? Again, not trying to argue. . . . more so just vent because in all these years she doesn't understand that we don't have the budget to take multiple week long vacations each year. Some people don't even get one vacation a year but the minute we plan a few things then we need to plan more. These are her parent's time share point so it's not like we're losing anything by not using them. Then on top of everything, we now have to figure out how to pay off that $16k+ she put on the credit card I knew nothing about.

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Go without her if she won't take the day off. She can likewise go on her own to NY or wherever, or go with a friend. You're not chained together.

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@Mame,

Mame wrote:

Go without her if she won't take the day off. She can likewise go on her own to NY or wherever, or go with a friend. You're not chained together.

Trust me, I do and I have. My family is just as important as hers. I do things with her family and go to outings and things they plan but whenever my family wants to do something then I usually get "I'm busy that day", "I have to work OT that morning", or "I can't get off." The only time my family does anything is the weekend of Labor day. We will rent a beach home or mountain home and just go together and relax the entire weekend. Plan an outing that weekend, go see the local sites, and then find a nice restaurant to have dinner. Most of the time we're just sitting around the house talking, laughing, and relaxing. I hear this from her every year, "My manager has blocked off the Fri before Labor day so no one can take off." Of all the holidays in any calendar year, the Friday before Labor is a day that no one can take off. And that's not even a holiday. Yeah, I know my wife is pulling my leg and just doesn't want to go but don't lie about it either. Just say you don't want to go. But keep in mind that the next time your family plans something and I say I don't want to go then you accept it and go without me. Enjoy your family time just like I enjoy mine. If I were to say "I don't want to go this time" then I get the argument "you've always gone why don't you want to go this time?" And that's usually followed up with, "oh, so is this because I don't want to go with you and your family on that Labor day weekend?"

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@Barry2021,

Why are you two even together?

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@Mame,

Mame wrote:

Why are you two even together?

I do love her and I knew this question would come up. We do have fun together despite the things I post here. But sometimes when common sense should take place my wife doesn't see common sense. She only sees what benefits her. "I don't want to go with your and your family or your outings but I need you to do any and everything my family wants to do." Again, her sister wants to plan a Christmas getaway to FL for the entire week. We live in NC. They don't have family in FL so it's not like they just want to go hang out with grandma down there. Both of our families live here. I do things with and for her because she is my wife but the minute I ask for something it's usually followed up with "we'll see". I'll bet you that if I mention to my wife I wanted us to fly to Vegas the week before Labor day I'm sure her boss will grant her special permission to take off the entire week.

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@Mame,

Mame wrote:

Go without her if she won't take the day off. She can likewise go on her own to NY or wherever, or go with a friend. You're not chained together.

Yep...I am going to get my daughter ....flying out to school and then driving her back over several days ...my husband isn't coming...not exactly a vacation but we will take our time and stop and do vacation type stuff.

And my husband will be going away for a long weekend with his marine friends.

We also have a family vacation planned together...nothing wrong with that.

So why not she go with her sister you do your thing and then maybe one together. Just use good old common sense.

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@Mame,

Mame wrote:

Why are you two even together?

They arent...physically in the same house but other than that they are not together.

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@Linkat,

Linkat wrote:

Mame wrote:

Go without her if she won't take the day off. She can likewise go on her own to NY or wherever, or go with a friend. You're not chained together.

Yep...I am going to get my daughter ....flying out to school and then driving her back over several days ...my husband isn't coming...not exactly a vacation but we will take our time and stop and do vacation type stuff.

And my husband will be going away for a long weekend with his marine friends.

We also have a family vacation planned together...nothing wrong with that.

So why not she go with her sister you do your thing and then maybe one together. Just use good old common sense.

Because she doesn't want to do anything without me. Granted, this is her family but if I don't go she doesn't want to go. And yes, I've gone on many Labor Day weekend without her but the entire time I'm constantly getting texts from her, "What yall doing?" "Who all went?" Where yall going today?" I just think that when you're married sometimes you may have to do something you may not want to do because it makes your spouse happy. Who wouldn't want to take a long weekend and just go relax in a beach or mountain home for a few days. Wake up and sit around doing nothing but enjoying each other's company, finding a local restaurant to go eat at. Maybe enjoy the scenery or relaxing on the beach.

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@Barry2021,

Sorry but I am not here to solve your martial problems.

You couldn't pay me enough!

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I'm just resigned to the fact that my wife only wants me to do things for and with her. Anything I want her to do with me is always meet with pushback and resistance. Last night I went to go see m/our other grandkids who I hadn't seen in a few weeks. Of the 6 grandkids we have there is only one grandson. He'11 be 10 this year and his mom has him playing pee wee basketball and his team is pretty good. I've gone to a few of his games. They win or have won most if not all of them. For a while now I've been telling my wife how good the team is and I wanted her to go with me to one. When I got to my daughter's place he wasn't there but he was at basketball practice. His mom told me that he had another game this Sat at 9:30 AM. I told her I'd be there. The wife and I had no plans to do nothing Sat but just hang around the house. When I got home and asked her to go to this game with me she flat out told me no because, "we weren't going to do anything this Sat" Not do anything didn't mean literally not do anything but it meant we were just going to rest and chill more. She wants us to take another vacation this year but the minute I ask her to go to an hour basketball game on Sat morning I get a flat out no

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@Barry2021,

And what do you expect us to do about it?

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@Mame,

Mame wrote:

Why are you two even together?

1 Reply

@Mame,

To stop two other people from being miserable.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

izzythepush wrote:

To stop two other people from being miserable.

Well there is a silver lining then for those two to stay together.

As far as the pee wee game who cares if she stays behind ...I'd go and relish the time of your grandson being a star. She can stay home sitting on her butt while you enjoy yourself.

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@Linkat,

Both pee and wee are euphemisms for urine.

I don't want to see a game like that.

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