What do your kids call you?

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Here's an interesting thing to ponder today? What do your kids call you, or better yet, what do you allow them to call you? My daughter's older sister posted something on Facebook this weekend saying that she doesn't have a problem with her 4 younger kids calling her by her first name. The oldest is probably 6 or so. I have a major problem with that simply because you're their parent not their friend. I would NEVER call my mom or dad by their first names unless I was ready to meet my maker. I'm 52 and still know there is a respect level with saying "mom" or "dad". This girl said she doesn't see the problem with it. Many who posted replies tended to go the reverse of her and say that is not acceptable but she is also one of those parents who doesn't believe in spanking her children. 4 kids under that age of 7 and she lets them do what they want. These are the kind of people who complain they never get invited anywhere but then (A) no one wants you to bring unruly kids to their house and (B) you're gonna be hard pressed to find a baby sitter to watch 4 kids who know nothing about discipline. You tell them to do something and they respond with "no, I don't have to!"

Were you allowed as a child to call your parents by their first names and /or do you allow your kids to call you by your first name? I do not and never will.

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@Barry2021,

Spanking children is wrong, it's because people are too lazy to parent properly. It doesn't work either it just builds up resentment.

The most effective way to discipline kids is to withdraw a privilege.

It works and it doesn't cause resentment.

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No, we certainly never called any adult by their first name unless it was prefaced by Aunt or Uncle. We usually called them Mr. or Mrs. Whatever.

Every generation complains about the one before and after theirs Smile

Pliny the Elder complained about his nephew (Pliny the Younger) - and that was quite a while ago!

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@izzythepush,

izzythepush wrote:

Spanking children is wrong, it's because people are too lazy to parent properly. It doesn't work either it just builds up resentment.

The most effective way to discipline kids is to withdraw a privilege.

It works and it doesn't cause resentment.

Izzy,

Let me say this. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I'm not knocking yours. We all are / were raised differently. I do not have a problem with spankings. Mind you, I didn't say beatings. My parents raised the 7 of us with spankings and we all turned out fine for the most part. Once you're an adult there's nothing I do today that I can look back and say was a direct result of my parent's spanking me as a child. A spanking is a meaning of correction. It's about learned behavior. "If I do this then that is likely to happen." Meaning, I'm probably going to get in trouble and spanked if I keep doing that.

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@Mame,

Mame wrote:

No, we certainly never called any adult by their first name unless it was prefaced by Aunt or Uncle. We usually called them Mr. or Mrs. Whatever.

Every generation complains about the one before and after theirs Pliny the Elder complained about his nephew (Pliny the Younger) - and that was quite a while ago!

Exactly, the funny thing is that this girl feels that she's right and that everyone should do as she does.

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@Barry2021,

Spanking is wrong, it's why corporal punishment is banned in schools.

You all turned out fine?

I've read your posts, the one thread that runs through all of them is that you are far from fine.

Spanking does not work, it builds up resentment, and teaches them to be brutal. It's also short, theyhave no chance toc9nsider the consequences of their actions.

I remember the same kids being caned over and over again when I was at school. It didn't work for them, just made them look cool.

Later on when I became a teacher I used techniques that worked.

Withdrawing a privilege works. The Kid who isn't allowed on a trip to a theme park because of their behaviour does not look cool at all.

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Weighing in here to say spanking is a form of brutality, not correctional punishment. It will boomerang on you.

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@edgarblythe,

It doesn't work, if anything it's counter productive.

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I've always thought the consequences should match the action whenever possible. I actually never had a reason to spank my kids, but I don't think I'd be comfortable doing that.

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@izzythepush,

izzythepush wrote:

Spanking is wrong, it's why corporal punishment is banned in schools.

You all turned out fine?

I've read your posts, the one thread that runs through all of them is that you are far from fine.

Spanking does not work, it builds up resentment, and teaches them to be brutal. It's also short, theyhave no chance toc9nsider the consequences of their actions.

I remember the same kids being caned over and over again when I was at school. It didn't work for them, just made them look cool.

Later on when I became a teacher I used techniques that worked.

Withdrawing a privilege works. The Kid who isn't allowed on a trip to a theme park because of their behaviour does not look cool at all.

I do not want to turn this into a discussion / debate on whether or not you believe that spanking should or shouldn't be permitted. Each parent raises their kids how they see fit. My questions is, given that you have not even answered that yet, is what do your kids call you? Do you allow them to call you by your name or is that too casual?

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@Barry2021,

There is nothing to debate.

It doesn't work.

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@Barry2021,

My kids are grown up, we all live together as does my daughter in law.

They tend to call me dad, but my eldest has told me to shut my lying whore mouth before today.

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@izzythepush,

It definitely is useless after a short while. It becomes a contest the parent will not win because it requires escalation which will at some level become criminal.

At best it will teach a kid that a "spanking" is the price they might pay for doing whatever it is they're doing, and it gives them permission to play that violence forward - after all might makes right and they learnt that at mom and dad's knee.

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@Barry2021,

Barry you should take your own advice ... Which is exactly how I was going to respond to your comment. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. No I do not agree with this woman and my kids call me mom or mommy....even as the young adults they are. But if this mom doesn't have an issue with her kids calling her by her first name so be it.

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@bobsal u1553115,

Creative Punishments:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXrgRCx4TW8

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@Barry2021,

I think there's a big difference between not being taught respect and a title.

In certain situations, I have taught my children to call me "Ms. Neptune." Why? Because when we're at a park or beach or shopping and they get lost and afraid, if they yell out "Mom" every woman is going to turn around and answer. But there's only ONE Ms. Neptune that's there who have children who may be missing or in trouble.

Yes, thanks to "Stewey", I get called Ma, Mama, Mom, Mommy, The Motherly Head of Parental Beings and my personal favorite, Mrs. Mom Boss Who Doles Out Love And Devotion. (That's when I know they want something big or money.)

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I'm still having problems with the first sentence "Here's an interesting thing to ponder today?" First of all, the sentence ended with a question mark, and second......did we ever find out what was the interesting thing?

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@glitterbag,

Barry is concerned. Very. Concerned.

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@bobsal u1553115,

That's true. He's just an incredibly wonderful man and everyone he knows irks him because they do not properly respect whatever the hell he is spazzing about today. Could be birthday T-shirts, his wife asking for flowers (when she gets everything else in the world anyone could possibly expect) Spanking, Church, dinner at Mom's, what do others allow their children to call them, lazy brothers, wives who spend too much money (but apparently that's what all women do) just take take take take. It must be exhausting.

What do your kids call you?

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