Curious if this is how Dom/sub relationships work

Reply Sat 12 Feb, 2022 12:10 am
Hiiii, so I met this guy off of this app and after a couple days of normal chit chat we switched to texting, after a little more of normal convo things got kinda freaky. He started asking me about the men I’ve slept with, my experience, positions, all of that. I was fine with sharing as it didn’t bother me much and of course I didn’t share any personal info about the people we just went by their ages. When I asked him why he wanted to know he said it turned him on, he also said how he liked being in control and wanted me to call him daddy. Again, still okay with it. He asked me to send him a nude but since I didn’t even know him like that I said no and told him he didn’t have to since I wasn’t (he sent me his anyway). We continued to talk and by that I mean I answered all his questions about my sexual experiences, I liked that it turned him on he mentioned that he was on the verge when I was telling him stuff. Anyway he started sending me things about threesomes which I didn’t connect with and I told him I didn’t care for, he would somewhat acknowledge it but then continued to send me stuff about it and ask if that’s what I wanted. When I responded no he would tell me that is what I wanted and tell me to respond with “yes daddy”. I ended up cutting it short and going to bed it was late. The next morning we had a couple of message exchanges where he ended up asking for a nude again, when I said no I was sent okay and then didn’t hear anything for a week. I wasn’t worried about it since I was doing my own thing except a day ago I received a text asking if I found a guy yet. When I replied a couple he started to ask me questions about how they went. I shut it down as I didn’t hear from him and no longer wanted to really get into that. I was told he went “mia” from everything due to depression and anxiety. I can relate to doing that when my anxiety gets high, but I still felt the timing that he stopped talking to me was strange. Anyway, I am doing my thing and had plans with a guy for the day made. When I told him he told me to text him something explicit, I said no since I just started talking to him and we don’t say things like that. He kept asking and when I said no he went into a thing saying it’s not just for me it’s for him too, it’ll help the sex be better, and to send the screenshots. I still said no, which he then asked me to voice record us having sex so that I could go to his house after I left there and we could listen to it while we have sex. I’ve never met this guy in person before and he wanted me to come over late at night? I told him I’d do it (I didn’t) as I wanted to give him his dom fantasy because he’d get upset when I’d tell him no before. He asked me what I was wearing but by that time I was driving. I left late and texted him back and didn’t hear from him until I got home 20 minute drive so I ultimately went to bed. He texted me the next day with the thinking emoji and I asked him what was wrong he said that I didn’t try to come over. I told him because I left late and heard back late I thought he was tired. He went on about how I made it about me and disappeared and didn’t do anything for him. I apologized but it didn’t seem good enough he continued to say how I’m toying with him and flip flopping what I say. I tried to explain where I was coming from where he proceeded to say that it’s all about me and I don’t care about how he’s feeling. Seriously we went back and forth through text for an hour until he seemed to calm down but the first thing he asked me to do was text that guy “hi” I told him no since I felt like once I did he would then try and have me say things I wasn’t comfortable saying to him. I told him that I didn’t understand why he’s trying to make me sext a guy that I don’t normally do that with. He responded that we do it and asked “am I not worthy?” Don’t even know where that came from. He told me to trust him, which at this point I no longer did. I let him know that, since we never even met I don’t understand where the anger is coming from. He would flip it and say he’s not angry (yeah right) and he’s just communicating and how I don’t seem to understand that. He was fixated on me answering a question which was if I trusted him, when I answered no he went on more and sent screenshots and everything of our messages continuing to say that my thoughts were getting in the way of me answering, yet isn’t no an answer? He then sent me a quote about listening and said multiple times about how much he hates the world because “nobody ever ******* listens”. What I felt like was clear instability I told him to find someone else to talk to, as I was writing back he spammed about 5 times, the same quote about listening and sent me more stuff about how I make everything about me and don’t listen. I ended up leaving him and his 5 messages on read and have since silenced the notifications as I feel like I wanna keep the messages just in case (I’m a little paranoid lol).

I’m just looking to see if anyone has any opinions on this lol cuz it’s crazy to me.
Reply Sat 12 Feb, 2022 08:17 am
Why are you doing things you don't want to, just to please this guy?

Even dom/sub relationships should have limits.

This is not looking like any sort of net positive for you.
Reply Sat 12 Feb, 2022 09:48 am
That’s what I thought. I’ve never been in one but I’ve always wanted to, I’ve done a little bit of research in the past and would see things about how a dom would never try and force you to do anything you don’t want. That’s why I decided it was best to just cut him off.

Thank you for the insight!
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Reply Sun 13 Feb, 2022 09:57 pm
No, that is not how dom/sub relationships work.

First of all, respect and trust is everything in that type of relationship. What you have is an insecure individual that you should block and never communicate with again.

A good Dom does not behave like this with someone they are looking to have a relationship with. There is discussion of past experience, sure, but there will also be talks about expectations, fantasies and limitations. Until such time as a relationship is started, you should not be expected to act like anything other than another person. If you do ever decide to seek that type of relationship, be sure you do it safely and educate yourself about what is involved.
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