I need to smile and I can't

My brain is filled with endless thoughts and it is driving me insane. I am moving back home and that sucks... I am at work and that sucks.... I am depressed and that sucks..... I can't eat and that sucks..... My relationship is so bumpy right now and that sucks.... and I need to smile but I can't.... I can't eat and that sucks.... I can't be happy and this sucks....

So basically I want to smile and to be happy but I CAN'T STOP THINKING..... So now I am just rambling on and on and on and on and on.... and I have no motivation or inspiration... and I have soo much on my mind....

I just want to go home, pull the shades down and sit in a dark room.... and SLEEP but I can't sleep so why bother.... I didn't want to come to work today but I had to...because everyone is going to ask me what is wrong and I work with my mom so when I say nothing, then they are going to go up to her and ask and she will probably tell them and then they will come back to me and say awwww.. feel better and I don't want them to know.....

WHY??? Ugh....

Tell your Mom you don't want them to know. Tell her that if they ask, she can tell them you are upset because... fill in with something truthful but outrageous like "She just discovered she has splint ends." or "She missed her manicure appointment last week and it's going to be Wednesday before they can fit her in."

Hey, you might even have some fun coming up with silly reasons. Write em down. Then look at your list and realize how ridiculous it would be to be upset over such things.

Then realize that's eventually how you will feel about the things really going on in your life right now that are keeping you awake and unable to eat.

This too shall pass. Growth hurts, but I promise you'll come out the other side intact and better for having made the journey.

Chin up, Crazielady!

Perhaps a few days off would do you good...? Why don't you go away for a few days to think things through?
What is wrong with your relationship? Is that the reason for you're moving back home? If it is, what's wrong with that? Dou you not get on well with the parents?

How could things go so wrong that you feel so depressed, so young?

Come on, let us help.

Have you tried watching cartoons?

The crazy antics of some of those colorful animimated characters should have you feeling great in no time.

Yep, had plenty of those days.

B!tch away!

Sometimes when I'm feeling low I fire up a large bowl of hashish.

Have you tried that yet?

Thanks shadowboxer.... yea I wish I could take a few days off of work, but I can't But I have a vacation coming up the 3rd week of August but now all I am going to be doing that weekend is packing
If you want to know about the relationship here is the thread Click here!

Shadowboxer: I am not going anywhere on the vacation it is just my first vacation in over 2 years.... not having to work is going to be sooo great... and yes he will be with me during the vacation.... lots of things have changed since that first post I made about the knife... that was more than 6 months ago I think...

Ok, maybe gambusia-watching wasn't such a good idea.