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Tue 25 Jan, 2022 02:28 pm
These insults are from an era “before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
1. "He had delusions of adequacy ” Walter Kerr
2. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”- Winston Churchill
3. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow
4. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
5. "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
6. "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.” - Moses Hadas
7. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain
8. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” - Oscar Wilde
9. "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
10. "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.” - Winston Churchill, in response
11. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here” - Stephen Bishop
12. "He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - John Bright
13. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.” - Irvin S. Cobb
14. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” - Samuel Johnson
15. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. - Paul Keating
16. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker
17. "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” - Mark Twain
18. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae West
19. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde
20. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.” - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
21. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music.” - Billy Wilder
22. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it.” - Groucho Marx
23. The exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
24. "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln
25. "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." -- Jack E. Leonard
26. "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." -- Thomas Brackett Reed
27. "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." -- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
"Your brother chews bubblegum!!" - Bugs Bunny
During an era where cartoons were violent.
@Mame,
"Just a penis with a thesaurus." – David Foster Wallace about John Updike
""I like your opera. I think I will set it to music." – Beethoven to another composer
"That's not writing, that's just typing." – Truman Capote about Jack Kerouac
@hightor,
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.: "If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off."
Elizabeth Taylor: "Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses."
Albert Einstein: "Only two things are infinite-- the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the former."
Kierkegaard: "My opponent is a glob of snot."
Pope John Paul XXIII: (When asked "How many people work in the Vatican?") "About half."
Dorothy Parker, after a drunk man commented "I can't bear fools": "Apparently your mother could."
Hunter S. Thompson, on presidential candidate Hubert Humphrey: "They don't hardly make 'em like Hubert anymore—but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway."
Frankie Boyle: "Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!"
King Edward VIII: "The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children."
Conan O'Brien: "Sarah Palin met with world leaders to discuss her foreign policy expertise. The meeting lasted 90 seconds."
Winston Churchill: "Americans will always try to do the right thing-- after they've tried everything else."
Mahatma Gandhi: "What do you think of Western Civilization?" "I think it would be a good idea."
Milton Berle: "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think."
Christopher Hitchens: "If you gave Jerry Falwell an enema, you could bury him in a matchbox."
Timothy Leary: "Women who want to be equal with men lack ambition."
Dorothy Parker: "The woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say 'no' in any of them."
Aristotle: "It is Homer who has chiefly taught other poets the art of lying skillfully."
John Adams: "In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress."
(On a performance) What do you think of the singer's execution? Calvin Coolidge: I'm all for it.
"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself." Mark Twain
"If ignorance goes to forty dollars a barrel, I want drilling rights to George Bush's head." Jim Hightower, Texas Commissioner of Agriculture (1983–1990)
I've read pretty nearly all of those quotes before.
@edgarblythe,
Well, most of 'em are old folks, some of 'em are dead, so I'm not surprised.
@Mame,
Mame wrote:
Milton Berle: "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think."
"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think." Dorothy Parker
Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people, but they'll come back twenty years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.
Francie Boyle.
Is that your head or your neck blowing bubbles? 😁
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