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Emotionally distant son

 
 
KimB
 
Reply Wed 5 Jan, 2022 03:48 pm
I have a son who lives in another state and communicates very little. Things have not always been good between us. Recently, he took a two week trip to my area for Christmas but did not make any time available to see me. I purchased Christmas gifts for him and his partner. My question is, as I try to keep peace between us, should I mail his gifts to him or should I take them back to the store? I do not want to create any new drama in either of our lives.
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Wed 5 Jan, 2022 03:56 pm
@KimB,
Maybe instead of giving him gifts you can ask him what the issues are and have a chat about it. Listening is a gift.
KimB
 
  1  
Reply Wed 5 Jan, 2022 04:00 pm
@Mame,
Been there, done that, many times. I'm tired of trying to talk when he won't. I will no longer beg him to talk to me or see me. Right now, it comes down to the gifts. What to do with them.
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 5 Jan, 2022 04:14 pm
@KimB,
KimB wrote:

Been there, done that, many times. I'm tired of trying to talk when he won't. I will no longer beg him to talk to me or see me. Right now, it comes down to the gifts. What to do with them.



I would just send them. Just say I hope you had a wonderful holiday and hope to see you in the new year.

I think in this situation where you have already tried to reach out and find what the issue is to no avail I would just let that go.

If you want to keep a chance for the future just keep contact like sending the gifts and a short but kind note.
0 Replies
 
n0tarobot
 
  5  
Reply Wed 5 Jan, 2022 09:25 pm
@KimB,
Hi, I'm in a similar situation with one of my sons and I agree, send the gifts. You may never get anything from him, gifts or otherwise, but at least you won't have the regret of not having tried.

With my son I finally decided to just take what he gives and make the most of it, which is very little, and otherwise move on with my life. There's more peace that way.
KimB
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jan, 2022 02:46 pm
@n0tarobot,
Thank you, it helps to hear from someone who understands what I am going through.
0 Replies
 
 

 
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