Emotionally distant son

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I have a son who lives in another state and communicates very little. Things have not always been good between us. Recently, he took a two week trip to my area for Christmas but did not make any time available to see me. I purchased Christmas gifts for him and his partner. My question is, as I try to keep peace between us, should I mail his gifts to him or should I take them back to the store? I do not want to create any new drama in either of our lives.

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 315 • Replies: 5

[+5] - n0tarobot - 01/05/2022Hi, I'm in a similar situation with one of my sons and I agree, send the gifts. You may never get anything from him, gifts or otherwise, but at least you won't have the regret of not having tried....

@KimB,

Maybe instead of giving him gifts you can ask him what the issues are and have a chat about it. Listening is a gift.

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@Mame,

Been there, done that, many times. I'm tired of trying to talk when he won't. I will no longer beg him to talk to me or see me. Right now, it comes down to the gifts. What to do with them.

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@KimB,

KimB wrote:

Been there, done that, many times. I'm tired of trying to talk when he won't. I will no longer beg him to talk to me or see me. Right now, it comes down to the gifts. What to do with them.

I would just send them. Just say I hope you had a wonderful holiday and hope to see you in the new year.

I think in this situation where you have already tried to reach out and find what the issue is to no avail I would just let that go.

If you want to keep a chance for the future just keep contact like sending the gifts and a short but kind note.

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@KimB,

Hi, I'm in a similar situation with one of my sons and I agree, send the gifts. You may never get anything from him, gifts or otherwise, but at least you won't have the regret of not having tried.

With my son I finally decided to just take what he gives and make the most of it, which is very little, and otherwise move on with my life. There's more peace that way.

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@n0tarobot,

Thank you, it helps to hear from someone who understands what I am going through.

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