Should she apologize or should I?

Again, I wasn't there. My sister had just gotten there from church and my mom was changing her clothes to put her into something more comfortable to crawl around in.

That I don't know. When my sister saw her having trouble she should have just taken over and done it. My mom left the room and came back with the scissors and cut the dress. Someone should have stopped her.

Well, your mama needs a talking to.

And that's the thing. I fully agree with you. But the minute I open my mouth to address it with my mom then I feel like the other siblings will get on my for even bringing it up. I should just keep my mouth shut and not say anything. Again, this is mom we're talking about. And it's not like the dress was bought months ago and she's worn it a few times already. I had just purchased it the week before Christmas. She had only worn it twice.

There are polite ways to discuss anything. I'm not suggesting you tell her off, but you can certainly be clear about how you feel about what she did and what/where your boundaries are. And you can ask her to pay for the dress she ruined, or to get another one, if that would make you feel better.

My mom is one of those who no one questions or stands up to. In her house there are no boundaries. If she wanted to cut the dress then she feels she had every right to cut the dress. Hence the reason why neither my sister nor brother-in-law stopped her. They just sat back and let it happen.

Which is what I said.

That's why she behaves the way she does.

Exactly. Which is why I suggested establishing some boundaries with her.

Look at it this way. Someone comes to your house and tells you that you have boundaries with them that you are no longer allowed to cross. The first thing you're probably going to say to this is this. "Boundaries? Ok, then get out of my house." Yes, even though this is her one and only biological great-grandchild there are still some things you just can't do. Blood has nothing to do with it when it comes to destroying someone else's property. One of my cousins just bought my mom a really nice white church hat and I can't just take a pair of scissors or a Sharpie to it simply because I don't like it.

You're making a mountain out of a molehill of a suggestion. Just say, "I don't appreciate you ruining something I bought. Next time, ask first."

Simple.

Maybe Barry should just buy another "Grand dad owns this dress" dress for the baby.

What you're not understanding is, as I have said several times, we have converted one of our bedrooms into a nursery and bedroom for 2 of our granddaughters. There's clothes and toys in that room as well and 2 beds. A bed for the 5 year old and a crib for the baby. We don't buy clothes and send everything home. Some things we keep here at our house. Those items we keep here are not gifts for the mom. They are clothes for us. It would be pointless to order a new dress because at this point, the baby will never wear it. Christmas is over and by the time Christmas rolls around again the dress will be too little. It sort of defeats the purpose of just reordering a new dress to keep given she never wore the dress. And I assure you, mom will not apologize nor will she give me the money to replace the dress.

You should just save the dress that was cut. She wore it for Christmas, she will not be able to wear it next Christmas and you were planning on saving it anyway. In twenty years when you pull it out to show her you will have an interesting story about how great grandma got so frustrated she cut it off.

That is a fabulous suggestion, engineer.

Then why ask the question? You know she isn't going to apologize.

So I guess the answer to his question is that he'll apologize.

No body..to me it isn't worth looking for an apology even though she should not have done it. She is off her rocker so to try and even reason with her over it is a waste of breathe ... Move on...and keep sharp objects out of her reach.