Fellas, do you still defend your wife's honor?

Forums:
Email this Topic • Print this Page

Check this out. Well, you guys know my wife and I had our formal event with our church this weekend. Sunday after it was all over and we were leaving the hotel it was too late for me to go home and cook anything for dinner so I told my wife to just come on with me to my parents because my mom always cooks a big family dinner and everyone is always there. Plus, they wanted to see the pics and videos from the gala. She finally agrees to go and we make it to my parent's house. Granted, she drove her own car so she could leave when she felt like it. We walk into the house and of course all my siblings were there and one of my nephews. His parent's were there, my sister and brother-in-law, and while greeting everyone and going to the kitchen to see my mom apparently my brother-in-law said something to my wife. I'm not sure what he said but my thinking was that it was something along the lines of "it's about time you came and ate dinner with us" or something like that. Apparently my wife didn't take too kindly to what he said and she stayed about 30 minutes and left. When I got home a few hours later she immediately hit me up with "why didn't you defend me at your parent's house?" I had no idea what she was talking about then she said something about something my/our brother-in-law said to her. What should I do at this point? I honestly don't think my brother-in-law said anything that much out of context for him that would have offended her that much.. And again, my wife is 50, soon to be 51, does she really need defending from someone she knows? I could understand if we were out somewhere and a total stranger said something out of line to her, but this was at my parent's house and it was a family member. Should I have defended her honor or came to her defense as she she stated? Again, I didn't hear what he said.

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 346 • Replies: 12

No top replies

@Barry2021,

Intervening with your family on behalf of your wife is not "defending her honor", it's just something that spouses do. If her family was giving you a hard time, she should speak up for you as well. That said, she has to tell you what is going on. Kind of hard for you to formulate an appropriate response to your family when you don't know what was said. You probably should ask your wife what was said and then approach your sister. "Mary was pretty upset about what happened in the kitchen. Can you help me understand what was said?" Of course, your sister will defend her husband, so be prepared.

1 Reply

I just spoke to one of my sisters who was also there to see if she heard anything and she said that when my wife came into the room she was the one who spoke to our brother-in-law first and she said something to the affect of "you ain't going to say something this time?" My brother-in-law said something back to her in the sense of "no, because anytime I say anything to you you get offended." Yeah, my wife does get offended easily but given this I think she just got her panties in a wad and that was just enough for her to have an excuse to leave.

1 Reply

@engineer,

engineer wrote:

Intervening with your family on behalf of your wife is not "defending her honor", it's just something that spouses do. If her family was giving you a hard time, she should speak up for you as well. That said, she has to tell you what is going on. Kind of hard for you to formulate an appropriate response to your family when you don't know what was said. You probably should ask your wife what was said and then approach your sister. "Mary was pretty upset about what happened in the kitchen. Can you help me understand what was said?" Of course, your sister will defend her husband, so be prepared.

The thing was that I wasn't standing right next to her when their exchange took place. Like I said, I was on my way to the kitchen to see my mom. And then by the time I got home it had been hours before I even knew what had happened. My wife said nothing to me while we were there and of course her translation when I got home was much different that what was actually said. The way she relayed it was that my brother-in-law just attacked her the minute she walked into the house. And if her family were giving me a hard time I know how to speak up for myself. I'm not a timid person to where my feelings are so easily hurt because someone says something to me. I'd say something to my wife right then and not just leave to discuss it with her hours later once she came home. I'd pull her to the side and tell her what just happened.

0 Replies

@Barry2021,

Barry2021 wrote:

I think she just got her panties in a wad

What a despicable and nasty thing to say. This is your WIFE and you continually treat her with disdain and disrespect. The contempt in this sentence alone shows how little you care about her.

SMDH.

1 Reply

She offered her honour,
He honoured her offer,
And all night long,
He was on her and off her.

0 Replies

@neptuneblue,

neptuneblue wrote:

Barry2021 wrote:
I think she just got her panties in a wad

What a despicable and nasty thing to say. This is your WIFE and you continually treat her with disdain and disrespect. The contempt in this sentence alone shows how little you care about her.

SMDH.

Look, since when was someone "getting their panties in a wad" derogatory towards them? In my book that just means she got upset about something. I didn't curse her out or call her out of her name. I just said she got her panties in a wad. Get a grip. Again, I didn't hear what was said so I'm not about to go pick a fight with my brother-in-law in my parent's house when I don't even know what was said. She didn't tell me till hours later. How was I supposed to know anything had went down? My wife will go toe to toe with me on many situations but the minute someone says something to her she may not like then all of a sudden she wants to clutch her pearls and run to my defense. Again, as I stated, I didn't even know what happened. All she said when she was leaving was "I'm going home now." Now had she said something to me I probably would have said to just let it go and move on. There are more important things to get upset about. Show my sisters and mom pics of you in your ball gown and don't worry about something our brother-in-law may or may not have said. Grow up! Yeah, Neptune, you can take that anyway you like. She's strong willed and will not be disrespected but the other day she came running to me because she couldn't get the cap off a bottle of Lysol.

I Googled it:

get (one's) panties in a wad
slang To become overly upset or emotional over something, especially that which is trivial or unimportant.

3 Replies

@Barry2021,

I've always considered it derogatory, and completely dismissive. You seem to think your wife is in the wrong here (and perhaps she is).

1 Reply

@Barry2021,

Quote:

Look, since when was someone "getting their panties in a wad" derogatory towards them?

https://i.gadgets360cdn.com/large/apple_1478011279058.jpeg

0 Replies

@engineer,

engineer wrote:

I've always considered it derogatory, and completely dismissive. You seem to think your wife is in the wrong here (and perhaps she is).

In the wrong to the point to where she didn't say anything to me at the moment something was said to her she didn't like. She waited hours to tell me. By then it was too late for me to do anything. That's like us going to the store together and I go out to the car and she comes later but waits to tell me once we get home that some guy inside the store tried to hit on her or said something out of context to her. The moment to say something was right then not hours later.

0 Replies

@Barry2021,

Yes you provided the definition behind but not the meaning and what it "feels" like...the ironic thing is you get upset about someone calling you honey when the meaning is (of course not the food item) see below,

INFORMAL
an excellent example of something.
"it's one honey of an adaptation"
darling; sweetheart (usually as a form of address).
"hi, honey!"

...but yet you do the opposite when you use a term that is actually considered rude.

Since you are so good with google - did you try searching to see if using that phrase is considered rude? You come up with pretty much everyone shaking their heads yes!

0 Replies

Barry
Stay out if this.
It’s not your battle when you weren’t there to actually hear exactly what was said. And now there are different versions to try to figure out the truth.

She stayed 30 minutes. That’s enough. Don’t ask her again to walk into the lion’s den because she will get scratched and scratch back.

Rise to her defense if and when you have the facts, or better yet, are a witness. You can assure her of that in a most loving way.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

PUNKEY wrote:

Barry
Stay out if this.
It’s not your battle when you weren’t there to actually hear exactly what was said. And now there are different versions to try to figure out the truth.

She stayed 30 minutes. That’s enough. Don’t ask her again to walk into the lion’s den because she will get scratched and scratch back.

Rise to her defense if and when you have the facts, or better yet, are a witness. You can assure her of that in a most loving way.

And that's the thing, I didn't hear anything that was said and she said nothing to me once she got offended. No, it's not really my battle to fight. It's not like she was a child and an adult said something out of line to her. She's a 50 year old woman. I shouldn't have to fight every battle for her. She's not a timid creature.

0 Replies

Forums
» Fellas, do you still defend your wife's honor?

Read Question
Reply to All

Fellas, do you still defend your wife's honor?

Quick Links

My Account

able2know