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Wed 20 Oct, 2021 10:50 am
I was in a serious relationship with him for going on five years. During this time, he had constant drama with his sister and his siblings all the time over one thing or another. This led to them not getting along and not speaking at times. I never had a problem with them and got along with everyone just fine.
We broke up (I did the deed) about 10 weeks ago. We have had no contact. Last weekend his sister, who did not even know we had split, called to invite me to go flea marketing and have lunch. I agreed and upon meeting her, I explained we should not discuss his brother or our relationship at all and she agreed. We didn't. It was a nice visit, not long, maybe 2-3 hours at tops. I hugged her and went home.
O M G ........ you would think I had killed his dog or something. He is FURIOUS. He and I never raised our voices or fought at all. We discussed things and of course there were things we just didn't know how to discuss. But I have never seen him angry until now. Wow. Was going to lunch with his sister a reason to be this angry? Please remember that he doesn't talk to her and hasn't in a few months. I really don't understand why he's so mad. Guys? What do you think ? I just don't see that I did anything wrong.
@Jingleboots,
Quote:Was going to lunch with his sister a reason to be this angry?
Absolutely not.
Quote: I really don't understand why he's so mad.
Sounds like issues with control.
Quote:I just don't see that I did anything wrong.
Either do I. In fact you made the right choice when you broke up with him.
@hightor,
Thank you so much for your input. Actually, my reason for breaking it off was that he was controlling me by not wanting me to spend time with my kids, grandkids or girlfriends. He never said "No, you can't go." He just made me pay for it when I got home. He said it took time away from him and he did not like for me to do anything with anyone else but him. I am doing really good and I'm free of that now, but man oh man is he mad at me now! Oh well. I don't have to deal with the family drama anymore do I ?
@Jingleboots,
His anger is obviously his problem. What you do, whether broken up or not, is completely your choice.
@Jingleboots,
And to add what others said - who cares if he is furious?
Let me be angry and you be happy you don't need to deal with this unreasonableness.
@Jingleboots,
Aren't you glad you broke up?
@Linkat,
Linkat wrote:
And to add what others said - who cares if he is furious?
Let me be angry and you be happy you don't need to deal with this unreasonableness.
Sorry that should be Let him be angry (yeah I can be angry too no skin off your back - but I'm not angry)
We had the same thing happen in my world. My grandson and his girlfriend broke up. They had a really dysfunctional relationship anyway, and she accused him of cheating , which she probably did do because that is how he rolls.
His sister (my granddaughter) continued to see this girl because they were friends before and have continued to be friends afterwards. He threw a fit and in fact has not talk to his sister for at least a year and a half.
This breaks my heart but he is absolutely unreasonable about this, claiming that we ( the family) “betrayed” him, even though he has dated two other girls after this. I think it’s a mixture of hurt and anger and, yes , loss of control , plus resentment that this girl has the attention of his sister. The three of them used to all go out together and I think that another thing is that he feels he’s missing out on all the fun.
These are all people in their early and mid-20s.
@Jingleboots,
His feeling aren’t particularly relevant. You’re broken up with him. Furthermore, You didn’t seek out intact with his sister. And when you got together, you agreed to not discuss the relationship. He needs to get a hold of reality and his emotions. You don’t have to take his calls - angry or otherwise.
@Ragman,
Intact … typo…should be contact.
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