Mutually beneficial arrangement no longer mutually beneficial!!

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I'm new to this board so go easy on me. I'm a late 40s guy who is currently not married nor dating anyone. I am currently involved with two different women where we both have a "mutually beneficial" arrangement going on. One girl I met when Craigslist was a thing and the other girl I met on another site. The Craigslist girl is about 31 years old and the other girl is 24. The arrangement is that I compensate them for sex maybe once a month or so. I prefer it this way because I don't have to deal with all the drama of a relationship. Each girl I've been dealing with for around 5 years each and we've become good friends. No the girls know nothing about each other and I prefer to keep it that way. My dilemma is this. Over the years both girls seems to be difficult to arrange a meetup with. When it all started it was like they both were available at the drop of a hat to meet up anytime anywhere. Their place, my place, anywhere. Now it seems that it's getting difficult to hook up with them due to scheduling conflicts. The younger one has her own place with her mom and son, yes, she had the son by a guy during the course of our arrangement. But it seems that mom is always there now or she can't get out like she use to. What use to be multiple times a week has now dwindled down to her only being available on Sunday nights and she's gotta sneak me in so her mom doesn't know I'm in her room. I'm getting a little tired of having to be snuck into her place then having to be quiet while I'm there then having to sneak out again. She'll text me during the week to ask how I've been and normally she's always out with friends or something like that but when I want to see her I get relegated to a Sunday night quicker at her place, again, having to be snuck in.

The older girl and I are really cool. Again, no drama there but she lives with her boyfriend and 3 kids and this is how she makes her little side money. My issue with her is that our visits are usually when I go to her apt complex and pick her up but she can't go but so far because he'll know she's been gone a while. She's never been to my place so I always have to go see her and that's usually a back seat **** in the back of the parking lot in a dark corner. Unlike the younger one this one will hit me up a few times a week asking what I'm doing and can I get out. That usually means around 10 or 11 PM at night again for a quick back seat romp in her complex. She usually tells her man she's going to get cigarettes or something like that.

What I'm saying is that I think these mutually beneficial arrangements are starting to no longer be mutually beneficial. Is it time to cut them both lose? Don't get me wrong, the sex is great with both of them and I don't mind helping them out financially but I'm looking at it this way. If I'm paying you for sex then I'm thinking you need to be available a little more than one night a week or even we can only go to the back parking lot. I'm not asking for multiple hookups every week, only when I need it. But in my mind, I think I may need to find another girl more accessible than just on Sunday night or parking lot hook up.

And don't criticize me for the arrangement I have. I just prefer not to be in a relationship right now. What do you think?

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@StarbucksFreak,

I haven't seen many questions about what to do when amateur prostitutes become too busy or inconvenient for their Johns. I hope I'm using the right terminology, wouldn't want anyone to think I' m judging you. How about I consult with some of the other gals here on the forum and see if we can come up with some useful advice.

1 Reply

@StarbucksFreak,

You have to decide what you want.

What you're describing is a relationship - they drop everything to be with you. You get their time and effort. It works well if they don't have anybody else in their lives.

What you are experiencing is a business - they dictate how, when, where and IF the services are to be rendered. They now have other obligations.

It looks like both have ended a "relationship" with you and have entered into a contractual business. Either accept their conditions of employment or...not.

1 Reply

@glitterbag,

Yeah, if you want to put it that way, it's fine with me. I wouldn't call them amateur prostitutes per say because they are not standing out on the corners waving down johns. The arrangements were fine the first few years but it seems that lately I'm not getting the level of service I use to. They always want the money but are never available. Again, I do not mind compensating them for what they do but it may be time to find someone else who is a little more available.

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@neptuneblue,

Trust me, it was never a relationship. It has always been a contractual agreement. Based on your scenario don't expect your regular customers to still frequent your store if you start limiting your store hours or locations.

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@StarbucksFreak,

I think it's time for you to cut them loose and find new blood.

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@StarbucksFreak,

StarbucksFreak wrote:

I wouldn't call them amateur prostitutes per say because they are not standing out on the corners waving down johns.

Sounds pretty amateur to me, professional prostitutes stand on street corners.

George Bernard Shaw once asked a member of the aristocracy if she would have sex with him for a million pounds. She said she would, and he asked if she would do it for a penny.

She said something like, “Certainly not, what do you think I am?”

Bernard Shaw replied, “We’ve already established that, we’re just haggling over the price.”

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@StarbucksFreak,

StarbucksFreak wrote:

Trust me, it was never a relationship. It has always been a contractual agreement. Based on your scenario don't expect your regular customers to still frequent your store if you start limiting your store hours or locations.

Well, these two women have curtailed your access, maybe they have Johns who pay better. One sneaks you into her mothers house, the other meets you in the backseat of a car......you are paying for sex without strings, and that's what you are getting 'sex without strings'. Apparently, one has a husband and that doesn't seem to be much of an impediment to you. I don't know what you what to hear, do you want them to be more sensitive to your needs????? You pay for sex, what's confusing to you. It sounds like neither of these women think you pay well enough for exclusive access to their time. Maybe you should hire a prostitute with a more flexible schedule.

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StarbucksFreak wrote:

I think I may need to find another girl more accessible than just on Sunday night or parking lot hook up.

Since your existing contacts are not satisfying you, I would say yes you should add another.

StarbucksFreak wrote:

Is it time to cut them both lose?

We're talking prostitution, not a committed monogamous relationship. If you add a third to your lineup, that is no reason to stop with the other two.

StarbucksFreak wrote:

If I'm paying you for sex then I'm thinking you need to be available a little more than one night a week or even we can only go to the back parking lot.

So long as they are only charging you for services that are actually rendered, they are not under any obligation to do any more than that.

1 Reply

@oralloy,

You're right. I'll keep them and put them on a shelf with a "break glass in case of emergency" label on them. The other night I was to hook up with the older one and she and I had been texting all day. She was at her sister's place and I've picked her up from there several times. I get to the house and text her I was outside. She kept saying she didn't see my truck. Not once did she ever walk outside because I would have seen her. I was right in front of the house where I normally pick her up from. After about 15 minutes of back and forth texts I left. Later she texts me to say that she didn't really want to be rushed. She wanted a good long session. Long sessions I don't mind but when you 're at your sister's visiting her it's not like you can just get missing for and hour or so then just walk back in the house like you just walked down the street to the gas station. You've gotta be ready to move when I say I'm outside, then we've gotta get busy and get you back before anyone is suspicious. Again, yeah, it's time to find someone more accessible.

And the other comment someone made about the younger one was that she was sneaking me into her mom's place. No, it's her place and her mom lives with her. But she doesn't want her mom to know she's hooking up with a guy old enough to be her father.

I've managed to forge great friendships with both of these girls in the past few years and yes, maybe they are getting tired of the arrangement we have and that's fine with me. But don't keep texting me asking what I'm doing and how my day is going if you can only link up on Sunday nights or you can only get out of the house for a 15 minute romp in the back parking lot. I may go a few weeks without hearing from the younger one then she'll hmu saying her phone was off. Ok, hmu before your phone goes off and we can link up and I'll help you pay it.

1 Reply

@StarbucksFreak,

You have a no-strings set up, but you seem to think these escorts should let you hold some strings on them. I'm sure when they are in dire need of money, they will call. Maybe it's time to start understanding that your money is more exciting to them than you are. This shouldn't bother you at all, you want to use them and they are using you for a little extra money. You been very explicit about that. So, what you should do is hire another woman who is willing to have sex with you in the back seat of a car for money. Not everyone is willing to do that because of the obvious risk of being arrested for prostitution or for lewd acts in public. I'm sure you can find another person who isn't worried about having an arrest record. I only say that because you already found two, you certainly must have some idea on how to go about hiring another.

1 Reply

@glitterbag,

You're absolutely right. Funny thing is that now the older one has been texting me saying she needs $20 because she is short to get her son's haircut for school tomorrow. To me there's a difference between paying you to have sex and me supporting your kids. Again, she has a live in boyfriend AND she works.

I don't think so.

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@StarbucksFreak,

Is she offering services in exchange for the $20, or just asking for you to give her $20?

1 Reply

@StarbucksFreak,

StarbucksFreak wrote:

To me there's a difference between paying you to have sex and me supporting your kids. Again, she has a live in boyfriend AND she works.

I don't think so.

I totally agree.

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@oralloy,

She's not offering anything sexually but she's saying I can take it off our next visit.

1 Reply

@roger,

What's the boyfriend's purpose of being there if you're asking me for money so your son can get his haircut for school tomorrow?

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@StarbucksFreak,

I think the only point to it is how much she can get out of you.

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@StarbucksFreak,

Maybe she supports the boyfriend. What do you care? Did you give her the $20?

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@roger,

roger wrote:

StarbucksFreak wrote:

To me there's a difference between paying you to have sex and me supporting your kids. Again, she has a live in boyfriend AND she works.

I don't think so.

I totally agree.

Mutually beneficial arrangement no longer mutually beneficial!!

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