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Different social behaviors: Incompatibility?

 
 
Reply Sat 14 Aug, 2021 09:36 am
My boyfriend is a really sociable and open person. I love that about his personality but recently I've noticed that he can become inappropriately silly. Sometimes he interrupts me when I am serious to make his random jokes and does the same with my parents. We have two very different senses of humour because we come from different countries but I think in my culture all these random jokes in the middle of a conversation are very rude. And also I've noticed that during a conversation he often changes topic and starts speaking about what is going on in his mind at the moment. I don't know if this is part of his personality or the English culture, but this makes me feel really uncomfortable, especially when we are with my family. I think it's because I am really calm and more introvert and when he behaves like that I don't really feel represented. I think he is very clever and able to speak seriously about a lot of topics and I wished he could be less silly sometimes. Do you think it's right to ask him to be less random or maybe we are just not compatible? I really don't want to hurt him. Thank you in advance for your answers.
 
jespah
 
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Reply Sat 14 Aug, 2021 09:50 am
@Lucydiciano,
Has he ever been evaluated by a health professional to see if he's on the autism spectrum? Because a joke on occasion is one thing. But this is beyond that and the likelihood of it being cultural is pretty small.
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PUNKEY
 
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Reply Sat 14 Aug, 2021 09:58 am
Bright, Impulsive, inappropriate - could also be ADHD, too.

In any case, doubt if he can reign himself in.

Decide if this will ever fit in to your lifestyle, otherwise learn to live with it.
edgarblythe
 
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Reply Sat 14 Aug, 2021 10:00 am
@Lucydiciano,
Not all who are on the spectrum have been diagnosed and so often do not realize it is a factor.
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Lucydiciano
 
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Reply Sat 14 Aug, 2021 10:51 am
@PUNKEY,
Yes, as a child he has been diagnosed with a mild form of ADHD. Now that he is an adult, it emerges only in certain occasions, for example when he speaks randomly or becomes particularly energetic. But at times he can be also a very mature, respectful and patient person. Sometimes I feel like all his energy and randomness doesn't fit with my personality but then I remember there is another side of the coin.....I don't know what to do.....
Mame
 
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Reply Sat 14 Aug, 2021 11:04 am
@Lucydiciano,
Maybe you two can agree on a signal you can give him when you feel he's being inappropriate. Like, "Oh hon, I'd love a glass of water" or some such thing. Or maybe touching him on his hand. He can't help being what and who he is, and all you can really do is try to mitigate things.
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