Dad doesn't believe in "organized" religion!

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As many of you know we are getting our granddaughter christened in a few days, this coming Sunday. My daughter has reached out to her child's father, who is several states away, to invite him to the christening. He pretty much flew the coop a month or so after she was born because he fell on hard time, lost his job, and couldn't afford to live here in our state. So he moved back home with his family several states away. Since he's been gone my daughter has told me that she's spoken to him and he seems to always be in another state. He's been to SC and FL over the past few months but for some reason can't seem to figure out where NC is to stop and see his daughter. His family lives up north, Delaware I think. Well, for the past mon my daughter has been in contact with him about the christening and he said he was coming. He was supposed to fly down here yesterday (Thurs) and my daughter was to pick him up from the airport. Apparently, he got mad because my daughter wouldn't let him crash with her. They are no longer a couple. She told me that he's not contacted her to say he was at the airport or anything so I text him last night to check his status. He tells me that he's not coming and this was the working in his text to me. "I won't go broke to attend a religious event that you or anyone else does not believe in enough to follow." It's a christening! We're not promising this baby to marry someone when she comes of age. It's a christening for God's sake. This guy is not all together there. He got mad at my daughter because she got the baby vaccinated with her normal series of shots when she took her to her doctor's appointment. He has this theory that the government is going to put something in the vaccinations that will allow them to track this baby and that they could possibly take her from him and my daughter. I'm sorry but even if you don't believe in any type of organized religion you still need to make an effort to show up for certain / special events in your child's life. Am I wrong?

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@Barry2021,

The baby won't know or care so what's the big deal? He hasn't been around anyway. He's irrelevant. He'll have to deal with her when she's grown if she even cares.

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@Mame,

It's not that the baby won't care because she won't even know what's going on. What matters is that this guy should care. My granddaughter has enough positive men in her live from me, to her great-grandfather, and a host of uncles and great-uncles. She is not lacking any male influences. He's going to be the one to regret not making an effort to attend these events when she gets older. And I'm sure that when she gets older she's going to wonder why her dad wasn't around. That's solely on him to answer those questions.

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@Barry2021,

Quote:

And I'm sure that when she gets older she's going to wonder why her dad wasn't around.

1. Are you saying that her dad won't be part of life while she is growing up?
2. How do you know that her dad won't be part of her life while she is growing up?

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@Barry2021,

You are way too invested in a situation that doesn't concern you at all. Your daughter is a grown woman, allow her the maturity to back off HER business.

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i think relegion is very important to all of us because its spiritual and feeds the spiritual side of our bodies and keep us calm and organised like your father said

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@neptuneblue,

Neptune, please do not start this about me being too involved in my granddaughter's life. That bridge has been crossed already.

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@bloomgucci,

Exactly. My parents raised me and my siblings with a religious upbringing and it has not clouded anything in my life. It's actually greatly enhanced things in my life. But for this guy to give the comment he did speaks volumes about him and his character. Jehovah's Witnesses do not believe if celebrating birthdays, Christmas, and several other holidays but I do not down them because of that. I raised my daughter in the church and I will raise my granddaughter in the church.

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@Real Music,

I'm not saying that he won't be involved in her life at some point but let's face facts, he blew town a month after she was born and for some strange reason he can travel from DE to FL and SC but he just can't figure out where NC is on the map so he can stop by and see his daughter. He may be, I'm not saying he won't but right now look at the stats.

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@Barry2021,

Barry2021 wrote:

Neptune, please do not start this about me being too involved in my granddaughter's life. That bridge has been crossed already.

I agree with this (meaning neptune statement it is not your role)- I understand you probably are trying to be supportive of your daughter, but quite honestly this is between your daughter (the child's mom), the child's father and the child. Now granted the child at this point doesn't know whether her dad is there or not.

You are the grandfather and your job is to keep your mouth shut about this and just be there for your granddaughter and daughter.

Now I understand you are probably trying to just simply discuss should he be here or not - not necessarily voicing your opinion to this - but I am on the fence about it. If a parent really does not believe in this ritual, I can see his point on not attending --- but I really do not think this is the case - he would have voiced this earlier and would maybe even said he was against this. I think he is using this as an excuse not to come. He sounds like an idiot and completely irresponsible parent. And the child is probably better off without him around. And yes, he should attend important moments of his child whether she knows about it or not - but you cannot force him.

I agree if he has any ounce of caring, he will regrets this later. The best you can do is stand in and be a good role model for your grandchild and give her the love she deserves - not to bash her dad (even if he is a complete idiot).

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@Linkat,

Let me give you some insight into my family. We are ONE collective unit. We all have parts in each other's kids lives. I am just as involved in my nieces and nephew's lives as I am in my own daughter's life. There will be 4 generations standing at this christening. My mother, me, my daughter, and now the baby. I am involved in my daughter's life because she is my life. And now that baby is my life. Her own mother wasn't a present force in her life as much as my mom or my sisters, her aunts were. Hopefully my daughter's mom (the baby's grandmother) will be in attendance too but if not then my wife will also be standing there as her grandmother. We don't just release our hands off our kids simply because they turn 18. Yes, I would hope that my granddaughter's father would find it in his heart to come to the christening but at this point he's stated his case. He doesn't believe in what we call "organized religion." That's his cross to bear but he's the one missing out on these special events in her life. No, she may not know what's going on now but in years to come we can pull out these photos and show her how special she was and the events we did to honor and cherish her. I have a feeling that dad won't even make it to her 1st birthday because he'll come up with some other reason why he doesn't believe in something. Yeah, you're right, he's an idiot.

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@neptuneblue,

neptuneblue wrote:

You are way too invested in a situation that doesn't concern you at all. Your daughter is a grown woman, allow her the maturity to back off HER business.

Best answer given.

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