What's good for her is not good for me!

My wife and I have been together for some time now and recently we had a disagreement about something. I wanted to get your take on it. There are 2 things that really bother me but the more I tell her about it the more she doubles down on it. The first thing is this. This month we know a lot of people, family members whose birthdays are this month. Me, my wife's sister, my wife's sister's daughter, and a few other people. Last Fri my wife's sister asked my wife to go hang out with her for her birthday. I was totally fine with it because I've been telling my wife that her and her sister need to hang out more. Side note: get her out out from under me so much. They went out Fri night and hung out and I stayed at home. Around 11 or so I went to bed and when I woke that morning my wife was next to me. I had taken my sleep medication so I didn't hear when she came in. Last night we were out riding around and I asked her what time she got in Fri night. Her response to me was simply, "Why!" I said I just wanted to know because I was sound asleep. Then her response was along the lines of, "oh, you you now want to go out and hang out till 1 in the morning. " My response was "no, but since you say it, since you did it I don't see the problem with me going out and hanging out one night." She had a major hissy fit about me going to hang out till 1 in AM. I looked at here and said, "oh, it's okay for you to do it but not me?" She said, "well, I was with my sister." I told her it doesn't matter where you were or who you were with. If you can go hang out till all hours of the night then you can't dictate when I may want to go out without you. I'm not but I was trying to make a point.

The next thing we started discussing was the fact that my wife thinks she is an ASE certified mechanic and can diagnose any problem with her car but she has zero skills or ability to actually fix anything. If she thinks her brakes need to be changes she'll go by the auto parts store, buy the brake pads then demand that I put them on. I know how to work on cars and I told her her brakes didn't need to be changed. She heard one squeak then automatically went and bought the pads. They sat in our living room for nearly 6 months before I changed them because at that time they didn't need to be replaced. And the only reason I did it was because the battery died on my truck this past weekend so I was gonna go buy a new battery and she then decided to say, "oh, when your car is down you don't hesitate to jump and fix it but when mine needs work I have to wait." There's a major difference between a car that won't crank compared to a car that need brake pads changed because of 1 squeak. About a month ago the check engine light came on in her car and so she took it to an auto store to have it checked. They ran the codes and immediately told her she needed a new catalytic converter. I told her she didn't need that. I have a scan tool and when I checked it I told her it was probably just a bad O2 sensor. A day or so later the check engine light went off on the car. Last night I asked her had the light came back on and she sort of jump down my throat about it. My wife feels that anytime there is something wrong with her car I'm supposed to drop everything and go fix it. If she comes home with parts I'm supposed to stop doing what I'm doing and go replace it. She thinks that because I know how to work on cars she's never supposed to EVER pay for another repair. I told her that if she thinks I'm taking too long to do something she is more than welcomed to take her car to a certified shop or dealership and pay them to do whatever she wants done. She is always finding something wrong with her car that I'm suppose to just go fix. I told her that the things she's complaining about are not major issues that need to be fixed right now. Like her brake pads, they will definitely let you know when they need to be changed. You don't change brake pads with a 1/4 of an inch of pad still on them simply because you heard a squeak.

How do you deal with an overbearing woman who thinks she knows everything or one who feels she can do something but you can't?