Wed 30 Jun, 2021 10:12 pm
For this dicussion, I am defining "sex positive" as meaning that the following things are true (as long as the participants are adults with the ability to consent.)
1) The desire for sex is normal and acceptable. There is nothing wrong with expressing it.
2) There is nothing wrong with asking for sex.
3) There is nothing wrong with saying "No" to sex. Nor is there anything wrong with saying "yes".
4) Perfectly good sexual relationships are varied. Some are equal (by the modern definition of equality). Some have traditional gender roles. Some are LGBT relationships or involve more than two people.
5) An adult relationship is acceptable as long as the people involved are free to leave, and decide that the relationship benefits them.
6) There is nothing wrong with prostitution, pornography, or any other type of sex work as long as everyone involved is acting consensually.
I exclude the following from my definition of sex-positive...
1) Sexual behavior in schools or workplaces between non-peers where there is a power imbalance.
2) Physically abusive Relationships or relationships based on force.
I may want to add to these lists... but I think this is a good place to discuss sex positivity.
"A lady is a delicate creature that needs to be protected" This idea has been at the core of Western Civilization for more than 1000 years. We have made the definition of "lady" more inclusive. But the need to defend women is at the core of our culture.
What's interesting is that this principle is at the core of the rhetoric of both side of our political aisle. Conservatives want to protect women from immigrants. Liberals want to protect women from dirty jokes.
I do think that the idea of "protecting women" remains an emotional core principle of politics in any country that was colonized by Western Europe.
I was reading about sexism in poker (a topic that interests me). Poker is a historically male game. More than that, it is characterized by drinking, toughness, bluster, hubris... and crude humor all of these traditionally male traits are the reason that men (and now women) play poker.
When you read about how to attract more women to the game, or even about how to ensure women's success in the game... the call is to change the culture of poker. People want to eliminate the bluster from a game that involves throughing large amounts of money at people to get them to give up a winning hand. And they want to eliminate the crude humor from a game that is synonomous with Western ballrooms.
There are women who are very good poker players. They do so because they adapt themselves to the realitities of the game. I am not taken a back when a woman tells a player he has a small penis as she is calling his bluff.
If we want more women to enter tougher spaces; is the answer to make the women tougher? Or to make the spaces softer? I personally would not want to play a game with lavender scented cards.
The narrative of protecting women is an important cultural theme that continues to play out across the political spcectrum.