So Worried that I'll lose my kids....

Mame, you might want to read again. It isn't that complicated. It should be clear (if you actually read my post) that there were two separate cases since I say so clearly in the post..

1) The first was the restraining order (where the judge dismissed her case without hearing mind).

2) The second was the case to determin custody and parenting plan. In that case me being reasonable made all the difference.

Neptune and Mame seem to want this silly little squabble with me. Whatever their problem, it isn't me. I am just here to share my opinion from my personal experience.

What is your problem now, Max?

It seems the only "correct" opinion on this thread is yours. I shared my opinion and that just isn't good enough for you so you just had to stomp on it. You're the one "squabbling" and won't let any one else have a differing take on OP's position.

Just stop and leave me out of your bull crap.

Come now sweetheart. My problem is that you always make things personal. I disagreed with you on one little point, and you got all snippity.

I didn't attack you. I simply stated my opinion. So calm down sweetie. I don't want to fight with you.

Bless your heart, being oh so nice when you're called out. Save it.

Thanks Neptune, If I didn't have wonderful people like you to call me out, I don't know what i would do.

By the way, how is your husband?

You do realize I've been remarried for over 11 years now, correct?

I said I didn't want this silly squabble with you, Sweetie. And yet here we are again (we really should stop meeting this way). I am sorry that I disagreed with you and hurt your feelings.

I am going to stop responding to you now (unless you say something on topic).

You asked a question I answered it. It would have been rude not to. Not that you've been cordial in any way, but hey, the world is full of arrogant people, and you get what you put in.

There is a story of the man who had a problem with the mother of his children. He called CPS. Now he has two problems.

CPS is sometimes needed, and when they are needed they can literally save lives. However callling CPS has a big cost. Once you escalate to involve CPS in your family... you can't take it back. After you talk to CPS, they will be involved making decisions for you whether you like it or not.

I think of CPS as a last resort. Many couples seek private counseling or co-parenting therapy and have much better results.

In this case, the key decisions will be made by the judge. And convincing the judge that he is a responsible parent is where the OP's focus should be should be.

Hi Max,
I wanted to clear things up, from what Neptuneblue is saying. I did not start this drama. The fact that her mother moved my oldest son and refused to provide me with her new address is what started this. My sons been living with his grandmother, despite my requests to let him live with me. She has completely abandoned him to her mother. My son cries, that he wants me and misses me. He tells me "they have given him hot sauce in his mouth, so that he won't talk of me anymore." He should be living with me, not her mother. POINT! So her mother has been bringing him for visitation every two weeks, but all along the EX her daughter, denying me visitation with the my youngest son, who she lives somewhere else with. (My oldest boy even cries and complains about missing his brother, and where is he?) She has been making her own rules from the start. How is that right? Now her mother has moved and refuses to give me the new address. It's going against the court order(; it states, that each parent is to notify the other 45 days in advance to moving and changing a residence, to inform the other of the new address. And If changing phone number, always keep renewed with the other parent. ) They have not followed the order. Question to Neptuneblue; How is that my fault; and starting the drama? Her mother is not mentioned on the court order and does not have custody of my son. So why would I just willingly give my child to her mother a third party, to move him away and not give me her new address. She called my ex (her daughter), who in turn called the police to come over, they saw my son, and realized he was not in danger and happily hanging with his family. The police did nothing! They warned me that I'm violating the order. But how was I violating the order, it was not my sons mother picking him up, it was her mother. Anyhow. Since then she got her Attorney to start up an ex- parte, sending the DA's abduction unit over and they did nothing either. They saw my son, that he was fine, they talked to him. He said he was fine. They said, it's not a criminal case, but a civil case, and we won't enforce anything here. Then they said, "Have a good Day." and left. So he has been with me for a month now. My ex has not tried to call me or text me, or stop by herself to say, "Hey, lets work this out." "Or give me back my son." Nothing. I've been texting the last number I have for her, several times since May 9th. It's evident she has blocked me. No answer, No response, No return call. I even allowed my son to text his grandmother, in which she responded to him and said, "I love you, Where are you? Let us know where you are, so we can come pick you up? Then minutes after that I texted her, saying "Please inform your daughter to call or text me, so that we can connect on the talking parents app. so we can co-parent. No response. Nothing. Really! I can see through this game. I live at the same address where she has always dropped him off for my visitation. I've lived here for 2 years, my parents 6 years. My number has not changed. Same number for 2 years. I feel like they are playing a game, and trying to make it look as if they don't know his whereabouts, so she can claim abduction. But we have not gone anywhere. We are here everyday, all day long. Me, my parents, and my son. Unless, we go on an errand, or take him to the park. I see through it. I hope the judge and the court does too. I sent the text messages to my attorney, to back me up in court. That I have been trying to reach out and connect to return him to his mother. How can this be done? Even if I wanted to return him to her mother, she has moved, refuses to give her new address, and this is what started this all with the oldest child; and there is still the drama with the youngest child, that she has been blatantly alienating him from me. I appreciate your responses Max, what I need is fathers rights advice, a friend, a confidant. So if anyone is here to bash me, and tell me I'm doing wrong. I'm sorry I beg to differ. I just love my boys, these two women are ruthless frauds. Thank you Max.

Max,
I understand all of this. I do. I desire to have a mature, responsible co-parenting relationship with my EX, strictly for the children's benefit. I pray for this. However, this girl is immature, Her mother is the queen bee helping her all along. She is doing drugs, and stripping, and partying. She does not work, she has no main purpose in life, but to party. She lives off of her grandfathers money, in which, they were waiting for him to die. Now they have it, and her mother is the (shadow-person) fighting me right now. I haven't spoke to my Ex since May 9th and it was by text. Before that it was months, all communication going through her mother. Since May 9th. Ex does not respond at all. Sadly, I can't see this reasonable future with her.

I did not say you started the "drama' I said you can end it, if you want. According to your post, you are seeing the near future, the x can claim Abduction and you can be arrested and a new Court Order can be issued stating Supervised Visits only. You see that, right?

Again, this has turned into a "he said-she said" issue where you don't have a legal standing. I've given you sound advise to clear that up, it's up to you to act on it or not.

It is all about the judge. He is the one who will make the decision in this case.

1. You will get to present your case in cort (Neptune is wrong about you not having "legal standing", of course you have legal standing you are a part of the case).

2. You will get to present your side of the story to the judge. You will calmly list the facts and answer any questions the judge has. During this time the judge will see that you are mature, responsible and calm. You just have to calmly stick to the facts, and not get angry during the hearing. If your ex-wife makes insults and accusations and you patiently listen until your turn, the judge will see that.

3. It sounds to me like you have an easy case. You followed the court order/agreement to the best of your ability. She didn't follow the court order. Judges don't like when people don't follow court orders. You are telling the story that you want to do what is best for your kids. This is way to win the case.

Judges in these hearings are there to be fair (and in my experience for the most part they are). The judge will listen to both sides and make a judgement.

So that is my advice. I disagree with Neptune... I think her advice will cause you more problems with the case. A judge wants to see a parent who is responsible and patient and who himself follows the court's instruction even when the other parent doesn't. A judge doesn't want to see a police report.

If the facts are on your side (and it sounds like they are) and to this point you have been responsible and followed the judges order... then you a very good case. Go to your court hearing. Present your case in a clear, factual and responsible way. Then wait for the judge's ruling.

Oh... and this started by saying you should find a good lawyer. Hopefully you are still doing this. The lawyer will help in knowing your options for what you can file for.

I kind of agree with both of these two max and neptune but different parts. Now I want to be clear I have never been through this so I am ignorant on the actual laws and so forth but trying to use my common sense here.

I can see Max's point - you want to keep this civil and come across as a caring reasonable parent that wants your kids' mom involved - a partner to your children and not someone that is out for a fight. On neptune's side you also need proof you are not holding your kids against their mom's wishes - in other words you need some sort of actual proof besides your words.

Do you have a lawyer from all of this? Could you reach out to your lawyer and explain what is going on and get his/her advice? I think that is the best avenue - you are trying to protect yourself legally and are trying to do the right thing. You don't want to screw this up legally.

One other thought - and this is a leap because I honestly don't know - what are your thoughts on reaching out to court or a contact you had when this whole custody thing was put in place? Let them know what is going on - it is not that you are trying to report the kids' mother just that you want to handle this the right way.

I would think both of these would give some level of proof that you are trying to do the right thing.