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Concerned about my mother and younger sister

 
 
Reply Fri 4 Jun, 2021 01:27 pm
I am the oldest of three siblings, a senior in high school.

My mother has been spending a lot of time on extremist propaganda sites on the internet. My father and I have noticed a marked change in her attitudes and behavior.

My youngest sister is a tom boy. She always has been. But my mom has been watching a lot of MSNBC, and she's been telling my dad that she thinks my sister is transgender. This goes against our Catholic faith. My father is very worried about this, my mother is talking about hormone medications.

My parents are arguing all the time. Is there anything I can do in this situation?
 
oralloy
 
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Reply Fri 4 Jun, 2021 01:54 pm
Well I would think that it is something that should come from your sister and not be decided by your parents.

I'm far from a master theologian, but I don't believe that being transgendered goes against the Catholic faith.

I guess I really didn't offer much advice along the lines of "what to do". Sorry.
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jespah
 
  2  
Reply Fri 4 Jun, 2021 01:56 pm
@Stephanie29,
Where's your sister in all of this? Oh, and being a tomboy does not mean someone's trans. Cripes, then over 3/4 of the girls in my high school graduating class would be trans.
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Linkat
 
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Reply Fri 4 Jun, 2021 01:59 pm
@Stephanie29,
One big question - what does your sister think or feel?

Being a tom boy does not equate to transgender.

Your sister if she is a senior is likely either 18 or close to it and should be in a position to determine her own sexuality and/or thoughts on her gender. It is her personal decision, not yours, not your dad or your mom.

You should step down and so should your parents.

What does your sister think?

Oh maybe I am seeing you are the senior in high school - either way it is up to your sister to determine how she feels - and remember if she is young she is likely to change about 100 times on dress/style/interests. There is no reason to push her either way. Let her determine what she is feels like. No matter which way you push her - her nature will still take over.
glitterbag
 
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Reply Fri 4 Jun, 2021 10:20 pm
@Stephanie29,
First of all, welcome to A2K. I hope you can stick around and continue to let us know about this 'Catholic Church-extremist propaganda and the link between MSNBC and transgender issues' issue. I'm making the popcorn right now.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Jun, 2021 08:26 am
@glitterbag,
glitterbag wrote:

First of all, welcome to A2K. I hope you can stick around and continue to let us know about this 'Catholic Church-extremist propaganda and the link between MSNBC and transgender issues' issue. I'm making the popcorn right now.


I think she is referring to extremists propaganda not for Catholics but for LGBT side of things - in one way I agree with the sis about giving a child any sort of hormone treatment. Since (and of course this is dependent on the individual) most kids are still developing and changing both emotionally and physically - I honestly do not support any hormonal treatments and I do think that is extreme for kids. Different once you are an adult. To me teenage years are when you explore and determine what sort of person in all aspects you want to be... Personally I would suggest even waiting until after college age as I have seen my recent college graduate mature and change significantly since she started as a freshman.

One thing as another aside - as far as faith - similar you cannot force a child or young adult to have a certain faith. My younger daughter is just graduating from a Christian High School. It is a non-denominational Christian school whereas students come from various Christian faiths. One thing I did appreciate from the school's Bible teaching classes especially for the older students - they had them think, they had them visit a Christian Church that was different than theirs, the even promoted the fact that you as an individual need to determine your faith and it cannot be forced upon you. Parents/teachers/ministers can give you foundation, but you as an individual need to determine your own faith.

Your sister needs to do this. Yes you can teach her and encourage her in your faith, but she will ultimately determine what is right for her. And often times forcing something on her, scaring her (i.e. she will go to hell for being transgender) - will more likely turn her away from the very faith you are promoting.

Also, want to say I am sorry you are going through this - it must be tough to see your parents fighting this way. Do you have a counselor you can talk to at school? It might help you feel a bit better. It must also be hard for you to see your sister going through any sort of uncertainty. I just suggest you be there for your sister and let her know how much you love her. Remember too sexuality is only a small part of your sister. No matter what is determined later your sister is still the same person -- just focus on her relationship with her and be the kind caring big sister; my guess it is probably also tearing her a part thinking she is causing this rift between your parents. Letting her know you care so much about her and love her no matter what will go a long way.
izzythepush
 
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Reply Sat 5 Jun, 2021 08:31 am
@Linkat,
Most “hormone treatment for kids” are puberty blockers, drugs that stop the onset of puberty.

It’s a lot harder to transition once one has gone through puberty and once someone is taken off puberty blockers puberty happens as normal.
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Stephanie29
 
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Reply Wed 9 Jun, 2021 03:08 pm
@Linkat,
My sister is 8 years old. She's a really sweet girl. She doesn't even really know what transgender is. But my mom is telling her that she's a trans, and then she hears this stuff from celebrities on TV.

My mom has been watching a lot of stuff like Anderson Cooper and Kaitlyn Jenner on TV. This past winter she called the police on my dad when they were arguing and told the police that he had a gun. My dad has a gun, but he didn't do anything wrong, his gun is locked in a safe. They were both arguing, and she told the police that he is violent. My dad is not violent at all, I live with them, I've never seen him be violent once my whole life. My mom on the other hand screams and yells.

I love my sister and my mom too. It's OK if when she's older she doesn't want to be catholic like me and my dad, but she's too young now, and I don't want her body to be messed up for life. My mom is telling her that she's a boy. Can my dad and I do anything in this situation? My dad says that he thinks mom is setting him up in case they have to go to court. I don't know why she's doing this. I just want my family together, and I want my sister to be safe.
Mame
 
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Reply Wed 9 Jun, 2021 03:27 pm
@Stephanie29,
Well, it sounds like your mom is having problems so can you talk to your dad or other family members about this? A guidance counsellor somewhere (at school or your church). This is the time for an adult to step in, but you can be the catalyst. I think I'd hit the family members before going outside. They may have witnessed something themselves. It's a sad situation for you and you shouldn't be alone in this.

Best of luck, Stephanie - I can hear how worried you are. Please talk to someone - I'd hate to see your 8 year old sister go off the rails.
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