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Fractured nursery rhymes

 
 
Reply Tue 1 Jun, 2021 04:40 pm
Substitute one or more words in the following nursery rhyme:
Mary had a little lamb. Its fleece was white as snow.

For instance: Mary had a little con game. Its fleece was white as snow.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 9 • Views: 777 • Replies: 14

 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Jun, 2021 07:07 pm
@coluber2001,
Jack and Jill went up a hill. Each one had a quarter.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Jun, 2021 07:47 pm
Hannibal had a little lamb. Its chops were nicely browned.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Jun, 2021 10:35 pm
@edgarblythe,
Sadly, this reminds me of the Hot Nuts that used to perform at college parties and small night clubs. I would repeat some of the poems and nursery rhymes but I don't wish to get cancel cultured again.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Jun, 2021 12:02 am
The hill Jack and Jill went up is in Kilmersden in Somerset, I ‘ve lost count of the number of times I’ve driven up and down it.

It's just a hill, nothing special, not even a bloody well.
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Jun, 2021 09:02 pm
Little Jack Horner ... sat.
cherrie
 
  2  
Reply Wed 2 Jun, 2021 10:01 pm
Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead,
Now it goes with her to school each day
between two bits of bread.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Jun, 2021 09:07 am
@Seizan,
He’s another one from my neck of the woods.

He was the steward to the abbot of Glastonbury who during the dissolution of the monasteries took the deeds of several properties to the king, saving the best, Mells Manor, for himself.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Thu 3 Jun, 2021 10:37 am
When I was at school there were two Mary variations doing the rounds. The first I heard at primary school and seemed very risqué at the time, but compared to the other is quite demure.

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a bear,
I’ve often seen her little lamb,
But I’ve never seen her bear.

The other one is way too filthy but the second line is.
She couldn't stop it grunting.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  3  
Reply Fri 4 Jun, 2021 04:58 am
Mary had a little lamb.
Everyone was astounded
After that wherever Mary went
The Gynecologists surrounded.
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Sat 5 Jun, 2021 01:29 pm
@Ragman,
good one, Ragman

Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son
Stole a pig and away he run
But soon Tom's arms got leaven
After all, he was only seven.
0 Replies
 
coluber2001
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Jun, 2021 02:22 pm
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.

There was a young woman who didn't live in a shoe.
She didn't have any children, but she knew what to do.

I think that nursery rhymes are actually directives for children. The first one discourages sexual activity, but the second one encourages it, perhaps to raise the birth rate. I read somewhere that it was actually a variation on the nursery rhyme, the shoe being a sexual symbol.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Sat 5 Jun, 2021 03:43 pm
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
The get the dog a bone
When she bent over
The woman exploded
Taken out by a drone
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Sat 5 Jun, 2021 04:59 pm
@edgarblythe,
good one Smile
P E Dant
 
  2  
Reply Sun 26 Sep, 2021 06:25 pm
@Mame,

Mary had a little lamb
The doctors were surprised!
But when Old McDonald had a farm
They couldn't believe their eyes!
0 Replies
 
 

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