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Word Choice

 
 
Reply Fri 28 May, 2021 11:29 am
Is this sentence clear or should it be shortened?

We are working on getting subcontractor pricing so we can move forward with framing per changes requested by the customers.
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 123 • Replies: 3
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Mame
 
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Reply Fri 28 May, 2021 12:06 pm
@LBrinkmann,
It is clear, but I am a word purger by nature, so I would probably say:

We are obtaining subcontractor pricing so we can proceed with (framing - is this necessary?) the changes requested. (Kind of obvious the changes were requested by the customer, unless it was by the City, so you decide if you need to specify that).
LBrinkmann
 
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Reply Fri 28 May, 2021 12:35 pm
@Mame,
Great, thank you!
Mame
 
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Reply Fri 28 May, 2021 12:44 pm
@LBrinkmann,
You are more than welcome! I spent 20 years editing scientific grants and journal papers where you have to keep the papers to a certain number of words without losing the meaning. It's only difficult when you are unsure of the context (e.g. who you were addressing in this example).
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