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I HATE it When Friends Feel a Need to Confirm Getting Together

 
 
jbc6
 
Reply Sat 10 Apr, 2021 06:26 pm
I know, I'm a jerk, but it drives me crazy. I have a friend who I meet for dinner every 6 weeks. After we schedule it, he'll call me during that week at least twice to see if we're still on. I ignore the voicemails and just show up. This has been going on for years. I have NEVER missed a schedule social event.
A few weeks ago I made a reservation to take a friend of mine to a birthday dinner tonight at a restaurant that is a block away. She lives a block from me. We had agreed on a date/time. I just checked e-mail today and she had written me a few hours ago "are we still on for tonight?" By the time I saw it I realized that there wouldn't be time, so I cancelled the birthday dinner reservations.
Again, I ALWAYS show up.

With the guy I mentioned, we meet at restaurants. But when I invite him to my house for a party, I get a voicemail with the "is the party still on this weekend?" nonsense. No, I cancelled the party and didn't fee like telling you. WTF?

Is this about insecurity? Do most people forget about stuff like this? I don't. But I refused to confirm meetups when we have already agreed on them.
 
roger
 
  3  
Reply Sat 10 Apr, 2021 07:21 pm
@jbc6,
If you refuse to confirm, I suppose the other party could reasonably assume you were not planning on keeping the appointment.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  5  
Reply Sun 11 Apr, 2021 03:46 am
@jbc6,
Things happen, sometimes plans are interrupted .....Welcome to the 21st Century....be happy that your friends still want to put up with you.....Sheeesh.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 Apr, 2021 06:20 am
Yes, I would confirm a “once every six weeks” date. Why? Because I often have plans /appointments changed at the last minute - by others and then me, too.
( kids, sickness, elderly parents, financial, etc) and my time is important.

Head them off by you doing the confirming first.


jbc6
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 11 Apr, 2021 06:47 am
@PUNKEY,
Punkey, those 6-week dinners happen every siz week but a planned 5 or 6 days in advance.
0 Replies
 
jbc6
 
  -2  
Reply Sun 11 Apr, 2021 06:49 am
@glitterbag,
You sound like a baby. You need someone to hold your hand through life because you don't have it together enough to adhere to a simple schedule. Being irresponsible will cost you friends. I doubt you have any.
izzythepush
 
  4  
Reply Sun 11 Apr, 2021 07:05 am
@jbc6,
I count Glitterbag as a friend, a very good friend.

You, on the other hand are a whiny control freak who demands everybody behaves in a particular way.

Not content with pissing off your friends you’ve now brought this foul behaviour to A2K.

0 Replies
 
snood
 
  4  
Reply Sun 11 Apr, 2021 07:44 am
@jbc6,
Glitterbag has plenty of friends - on and off this forum. I count myself fortunate to be among them.

You ought to watch who you sling gratuitous insults at.
0 Replies
 
engineer
 
  4  
Reply Sun 11 Apr, 2021 04:10 pm
@jbc6,
They are not confirming, they are reminding. It's the same thing the doctor's office does when they call you to confirm. Their time is on the line and it's smart to make sure you are going to be there.
0 Replies
 
snood
 
  3  
Reply Sun 11 Apr, 2021 04:42 pm
@glitterbag,
glitterbag wrote:

Things happen, sometimes plans are interrupted .....Welcome to the 21st Century....be happy that your friends still want to put up with you.....Sheeesh.



It’s like he doesn’t believe there’s such a thing as “unforeseen circumstances “.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Apr, 2021 08:34 am
I think it's a responsible thing to do to doublecheck. I have an older friend who constantly forgets our dates or where or when we're meeting and has to be reminded. Three of us go for lunch every other Wednesday and we've been doing this for years. Last week, I sent her a text on Tuesday reminding her and she said she had booked a hair appointment. The time before that, she'd gone skiing at Whistler for a week and didn't tell either of us she'd be away. The other two of us met and last week my friend said she wasn't interested in doing the lunches anymore but she'd meet up with me. So the forgetful friend's actions/behaviours have had some consequences.

The other thing is, you could tell your friends that you WILL be there and they don't need to check. Why didn't you just call the birthday friend and say yes? I mean, why cancel it?
roger
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Apr, 2021 08:38 am
@Mame,
How nice to see Mame back on the board.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Apr, 2021 11:56 am
@roger,
I know, right?
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Apr, 2021 12:15 pm
@roger,
Yo, Roger buddy! Nice to see you're still your unflappable, rational self Smile I was going to post in the dating-sex-dinner thread that I'd pay to have dinner with you, ha ha.... I'll send you a msg.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Apr, 2021 12:16 pm
@glitterbag,
Thank you, glitterbag Smile
0 Replies
 
 

 
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