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Does anyone else feel like their boss is never pleased with them?

 
 
Dsg1116
 
Reply Sat 27 Mar, 2021 01:54 pm

I just feel like my boss is never pleased with me, it’s always something. He never compliments me, he provided some good feedback during my review but I feel he gives shoutouts to the others more. Maybe it really does mean that I’m terrible at what I do but I think it stems from favoritism. I always feel with bosses it’s more what you didn’t do or what you could do better. It’s never just good feedback, there’s always a comment about “room for improvement”. I just feel that I am one of the people that he tends to micromanage more, I don’t talk to my other coworkers so I can’t confirm or deny. I think there’s maybe 3-4 people he tends to keep more tabs on and I’m one of those folks. Today I was so pissed, it’s always something. Am I the issue or is my boss just a dick?
 
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Sat 27 Mar, 2021 02:07 pm
Maybe he is trying to teach you something and you are an unwilling student.
Dsg1116
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Mar, 2021 07:57 pm
@PUNKEY,
Thanks for the support
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Sat 27 Mar, 2021 07:59 pm
@Dsg1116,
Your boss is a human being. There are good bosses and bad bosses, all of them are people trying to do their job. Don't forget this.

1) If your boss provided good feedback (I assume this is positive feedback) then accept it. That is cool.

2) What your boss says to other people doesn't really concern your work, does it? My advice would be for you to ignore it.

3) If anyone (including your boss) gives you valid criticism, take it. They are giving you free information on how to have more success. If the criticism is not valid, then ignore it.

4) Your boss might be a "dick" (there is no way for me to judge). But, for the sake of discussion let's say he is an actual, certifiable dick. So what? He is still your boss. You still have the same value as a worker and a human being.

You have two choices. Either you figure out how to make your job work for you, or you find another job.

I have had bosses that I loved, and I worked really hard for them to make their projects succeed. I had bosses that I thought were assholes. In any case, I don't let my boss determine my image of who I am as a person.
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Sat 27 Mar, 2021 08:04 pm
@maxdancona,
There are two main reasons for working at a job.

1) Make money.
2) Advance my career.

I am an engineer, and I do get satisfaction from making stuff work. But at a job, the things that I make belong to other people and the decisions I make can be overturned from above (although they usually aren't). The point is that I am working at my company because they pay me and provide me with cool **** I can put on my resume.

If you remember why you are there, you can put up with all of the crap that comes with working with other people. The warm fuzzy feeling you don't get from your boss isn't really important as long as the paycheck keeps coming and you are learning stuff you can use in the future.
cherrie
 
  2  
Reply Sat 27 Mar, 2021 08:47 pm
@Dsg1116,
Dsg1116 wrote:

Thanks for the support


So what you're really after is for all of us to agree that your boss is a dick, you're a wonderful employee, and life isn't fair for you.

I'm a member of a voluntary emergency service and after every training session we have a debrief where each person has to mention something that went well and then something that could be improved. Nobody takes this personally or gets offended, it's meant as a learning experience and that's how we take it.

Perhaps you should try listening to your boss and you might learn something too.
0 Replies
 
neptuneblue
 
  3  
Reply Sun 28 Mar, 2021 12:28 am
@Dsg1116,
Please explain why your boss should act like your mom, and compliment you even though you're a complete mess. Are you really expecting a participation trophy for doing your J-O-B? You do realize they PAY you to do a J-O-B and do it well? Or you one of those who expect accolades for doing a mediocre performance?

You need a reality check.

No one, and I mean no one will treat you like your mom. It's just not how this goes. You complain, you can't get along with others, won't accept constructive feedback and yet, you still want paid. For what?

Why AREN'T you talking to your co-workers? Are you just SO fantastic that their opinion/knowledge/experience is so vastly inferior that you have no need to improve yourself??

Your boss keeps tabs on YOU because you cannot be trusted enough to do your J-O-B. And you you think a co-worker is a bitch? Maybe so, but she learned it from you.

My advise?

STFU. And do your J-O-B.
Dsg1116
 
  0  
Reply Sun 28 Mar, 2021 10:20 am
@neptuneblue,
There’s being direct and then just being rude. Your comment was definitely uncalled for
Dsg1116
 
  0  
Reply Sun 28 Mar, 2021 10:21 am
@maxdancona,
Even with the job that you’re good at and have a decent boss, do you still make mistakes and get corrected?
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Sun 28 Mar, 2021 11:27 am
@Dsg1116,
Each job is different. Each boss is different.

I had a job where I was nearly godlike in the eyes of my boss. I ran a successful project and was treated as an expert. I was "corrected" only on issues of time and budget... I wrote proposals and they wanted to cut time off of them (which meant I didn't get to do everything I wanted to).

I had another job where I felt I was the scapegoat and my boss treated me like I was the cause of all of his problems. He called me out publicly and made my work life hellish. I left that job pretty quickly.

Most of my jobs (and I have had several) have fallen somewhere in between the two.

I adapt to each situation, keep focused on what I want in the long term, and make the best of it whereever I am.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Mar, 2021 03:41 pm
This is the same poster who asks, "Is my co-worker being a bitch", so any advice you provide will probably be ignored. However, it doesn't hurt to try, maybe something will stick.
Dsg1116
 
  0  
Reply Sun 28 Mar, 2021 09:05 pm
@glitterbag,
But I did take your feedback into consideration, also read about your story. Why are you against me now? Lol
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Mar, 2021 10:20 pm
@Dsg1116,
I'm not against you, I'm surprised you think that. Please tell me you don't think that little anecdote I offered as a point of view to help you was "my story"? But really, that's ok........that's just how I handled a difficult person in that particular instance.......I was just trying to help.....you don't have to handle your difficulties like I did. I wish you good luck and peace of mind.
0 Replies
 
neptuneblue
 
  2  
Reply Sun 28 Mar, 2021 10:41 pm
@Dsg1116,
Yes, being direct and concise is exactly what your boss did. Except you're too naïve and inexperienced to notice and to raise your level of performance. Part of a manager's job is employee performance based reviews based on metrics set as a minimum standard for your position. As you've stated, you're being hand held because you're failing the minimum metrics set for performance of the position you hold.

It's not rude, it's business.

It's not escaping any one's attention you and your co-worker don't get along. And it's quite obvious you hold resentment and animosity for that person, to the extent it's noticeable even in a Zoom meeting. The fact you don't reach out to others at all is also quite noticeable, even though you may think that's a plus in your column. It's not.

Max is right, there's good bosses and bad ones, but you seem oblivious to that and choose to ignore the warning signs on how your boss gives you guidance which, of course, you choose to ignore.

Multiple people have responded to your post and you still think the problem lies elsewhere. Think again.



izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Mar, 2021 01:45 am
@neptuneblue,
neptuneblue wrote:

Multiple people have responded to your post and you still think the problem lies elsewhere. Think again.


If you occasionally meet an arsehole they’re an arsehole. If everyone you meet is an arsehole then you’re the arsehole.

The OP has a confrontational manner, you’re either with them or against them.

They still think they’re at school.
0 Replies
 
 

 
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