Well, you can't have that, but
If you're an American citizen you are entitled to:
A heated kidney shaped pool
A microwave oven--don't watch the food cook
A Dyna-Gym--I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home
A kingsize Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum
A foolproof plan and an airtight alibi
Real simulated Indian jewelry!
A Gucci shoetree!
A year's supply of antibiotics
A personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
And Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number
A beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick
Rosemary's baby!
A dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams
A new Matador
A new mastadon
A Maverick
A Mustang
A Montego
A Merc Montclair
A Mark IV
A meteor
A Mercedes
An MG
Or a Malibu?
A Mort Moriarty
A Maserati
A Mac truck
A Mazda
A new Monza
Or a moped
A Winnebago
Hell, a herd of Winnebago's, we're giving 'em away
Or how about a McCulloch chainsaw?
A Las Vegas wedding
A Mexican divorce
A solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot
Or
A baby's arm holding an apple?
