2
   

I need help, please.

 
 
Reply Sun 14 Feb, 2021 11:57 am
Hello everyone,

I'm a high school teacher and I'm suffering a lot because of something I cannot tell anyone. I have fallen in love with one of my students, he will be 17 in three months. I am 29. I don't really know how to address this situation, but I will try to explain. He looks old for his age, you would say he is older and I am very childish. He doesn't know anything about this and I don't think he can even imagine it. Of course I would never do anything right now, but I would like to ask for his phone number at the end of the school year. (I won't be teaching there any longer after this course). I am not sure whether (I repeat, only at the end of the school year) I should tell him that I like him and that I would like to wait until he is 18 if he wants us to see each other outside high school. Should I confess my feelings to him so that he sees that I don't have bad intentions and I will wait as many years as necessary? Besides, I would ask him not to tell anyone. Or should I just ask for his phone number and not say anything else? I'm at a loss and I would like to have the chance of being with him. I feel that I will miss that because of societal opinions. Please, help me. I'm having a hard time.
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Sun 14 Feb, 2021 12:11 pm
@Spirit002,
It's not just societal opinions; it's likely the law. It's also your future career.

Don't ask him for his number. Get some therapy instead. Find out why you're fishing in the wrong pond, and why you aren't allowing yourself to find someone more your own age. Find out why this forbidden fruit is so enticing for you that you're willing to lay waste to your future for it.

Your 17 year old pal could easily blab to just about anyone, and not necessarily intentionally. Being found out doesn't just embarrass you. It also, potentially, torpedoes not just whatever job you're going to but also, maybe, future jobs.

No one is going to want to hire a teacher who looks for love amongst his/her underage students.

And this is assuming you don't get into a situation where you could be tagged as a sex offender. For life.

Think I'm being an alarmist? There are a lot of out of work people right now. If you crash and burn your job, they will be only too happy to take it. And parents aren't going to listen to protestations that he's almost 18 and you're in love or whatever.

They are going to look at you and think Pamela Smart.

This is foolishness, and I hope you can see past the here and now and realize that.
0 Replies
 
Spirit002
 
  0  
Reply Mon 15 Feb, 2021 07:51 am
I'm just saying I wouldn't do anything until he is 18. So, for me it's a taboo topic in society but it could deifnetely happen once he is not underage and we are not together in the high school any longer. I mean, I don't have any bad intentions. I could easily wait more years, I just want to keep in touch with him until the right time comes.
neptuneblue
 
  3  
Reply Mon 15 Feb, 2021 07:54 am
@Spirit002,
Get a grip on reality.

You're preying on a CHILD.

How is any of this ok?
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 19 Feb, 2021 05:20 pm
@Spirit002,
Find someone who is age-appropriate. If you wait til after 18 , then what? Whenever you go out together and are seen, people who know you will see the obvious. Then there’s his parents and their thoughts on the matter! There is a disparity in positions and power.

Why not find someone else who won’t be a risk to your career? No matter what you may hope for, you and he are at different stages in life and will be another 5 or more years.. For one, he has no career but for the moment, you DO,
0 Replies
 
 

 
  1. Forums
  2. » I need help, please.
Copyright © 2025 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 04/30/2025 at 10:37:08