Can I resurrect a platonic relationship?

That is too much. No matter how much you and she connected in certain matters, many people will find this to be crossing the line, whether you are of the same gender or not.

A friend of mine did similar once. (texting did not exist back then) several calls went to voicemail. I was dealing with a few personal issues that day. When I called him, he said he was about to call the police to have them break down my door. That was unacceptable.
Eventually our friendship bit the dust. He was too over the top in unwarranted concern.

You took a basic, platonic relationship and behaved as a life-partner or parent might. Although, highly unlikely unless the person had indicated a desire to self-harm or worried about somebody coming after them physically.

Just concentrate on your work and put the past where it belongs...in the past. It is over!

Thank you very much for that advice. It cleards matters.

Hello all!

Good morning.

To follow on, what perplexes me was that perhaps I made an error in my judgement. But just as I am trying to get this person's persepctive, why does she not reciprocate? She had previously approached me for different issues and I had given my advice only after she asked; not on my my own voilition. I know it is people's preorgative whether or not to let someone into therir personal space. But what rankles me is that for I genuinely did not intend hounding her. She could very well have clarified it and made her displeasure known. Was that such a cardinal mistake to call off a 12 month friendship? This person had repeatedly told me how important my advice was especially when she was trying to get a mortgage. She approached me and NOT the other way around. She was on the horns of dilemma and we even went through her expenses just to reassure that she was not overborrowing. As a friend I gave unbiased opinion just to make sure she did not end up in financial difficulty. At every stage of the process, she kept asking me for advice and based on my recent move and the challenges in the current pandemic era, I thought it appropriate to share my experience. Elsewhere, we had discussions about exercise/yoga/several other topics where she actively sought my opinion and NOT the other way around. I agree I need to be empathetic. But if the shoe was on the other foot can I not expect this? I made a mistake by making multiple calls and vowed never ever to repeat that. Yes, it was my naivety but it was not intentional. My take is this: If someone is indeed respectful, then one would forgive in this instance. I would do that if someone explained the reason for their actions. Yes, if someone repeatedly made mistakes then it would set alarm bells ringing.

If someone where to have stood by me for important decisions about my work situation and also my home move (two very important decisions in life), I would accept that person's apology for a mistake that was inadvertently committed and get back to the friendship. Mind you, I had made phone calls in the evenings to discuss these matters and there seemed to be no problem in the past. Agreed, I was wrong to try 5 times that evening. Was that such a cardinal mistake that things have to be called off merely from that incident?

This person is so important because we work closely as a team and I feel that it is good to be on friendly terms. I deliberately did not want the friendship to escalate beyond a point even in the years ahead as I felt it was not apporpriate for professional colleagues to be close/intimate and never ever did I hint to that either. I merely wanted to be good friends sharing banter and exchanging ideas and views on a variety of topics. In life I also believe that one must do all that is possible in one's hands to sort something out to fix a problem. Some people at work have called me a "dog with a bone" because I accomplish things of course in a congenial manner and not riding roughshod on people to achieve goals. But I guess it is time to move on. At least I have the satisfaction that I did try my best.

I sincerely thank you for your advice. Have a great day and happy new year in advance!

There are “office relationships” and there are “personal relationships.” You crossed the line and now are perplexed because you are being regulated back into the office status, and even held at a distance in that role.

Sorry, but you inflated your own importance into this person’s life. She “ owes” you nothing. Stop seeing this as a challenge or a problem to be solved.

Direct your energy elsewhere.

Hello "Punkey"

Good morning.

Thanks for your reply. I just want to add that this person had in no uncertain terms and on several occasions (over face-to-face chats/texts/phone conversations) indicated that she considered me a good friend and not merely a business colleague since (as I had alluded to in my prevous post) did have exchanges as a friend would. I had no intention to escalate it beyond that. I am sorry if I seemed to be delusional despite the above and misinterpreted the term "friend" as she referred to. I sincerely did not wish to inflate my improtance in her life. Anyway I will bear your views in mind for future reference. Cheers.

Ravi

So which is it? Does she work with you, or are you her superior.
No matter. She's clearly told you her desire is to not be personal friends.




And yet....you do exactly that.

You are being creepy and a stalker. There. I said it.
Get help for yourself and leave her alone.