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Sat 26 Sep, 2020 09:25 am
Ok, here goes.
Always wanted to talk about this in my real life, face to face, but I'm scared to do so, hence why I am here.
So I have been struggling with this for quite some time, about 15 years now. I am still living at home with my mom, step-father passed a few years ago, so I am very close to the former. Got a few best friends in my life, however I have never discussed this with them as I am afraid of how they will react. It started when I was in my teenage years and continued from there. When I was around 13, 14 I developed a minor attraction to children. At the beginning I didn't think much of it, thinking it would go away, but as the years went by, these urges became much more. I initially repressed the feelings and asked god to take away, and I thought he had. When I grew older, the people I was attracted to stayed the same age. I always wanted to find a group for support, but there aren't any, and I can understand why. We are the most hated in all of society. I have never acted upon my attraction, nor will I ever. And I have never done anything illegal and don't plan to. Am I a peadophile? I obey the laws and respect and agree with society's position on it, and those sort of people. I was meant to go to a therapist about this, but in the end I backed out and never went due to the fear of being reported. Is there any way for this to go away? I am not afraid of commiting any crime, as I have controlled myself for so long. I consider myself a good Christian, and regulary go to church. Why is this happening to me? If there is hate replies, I understand why. Is there any type of counseling that one can go to where I remain anonymous, and I can get treated for this mental disorder?
@swampconcept,
You will get no hate or judgement from me. The fact that you have not hurt children means you are a good person.
My strong advice is that you go to a therapist. That is what therapists are for. I believe that your confidentiality with a therapist is legally guaranteed unless you are an imminent danger to yourself or others. A good therapist will accept you and make you feel secure. And keeping people who need help from getting help is stupid, the psychological community isn't stupid.
When you go to a therapist, you don't have to tell them your issue right away. You can go and talk about other things... until you have built up trust with your therapist. If you are not comfortable right away... I would say directly that there is an issue I am not ready to talk about. A good therapist will understand and accept this. Work first on other issues.. work, family, other stressors, until you feel you can trust your therapist.
I am pretty sure I have heard there are groups for people with attraction toward children. But, a therapist is the best way to get in contact with these groups.
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