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Sat 11 Jul, 2020 01:30 pm
So I’ve had an emotional affair with a married man for about 7 months. I am married as well. We work together very close as I see him everyday. We had a few moments together at work. I am sorry about the people it has hurt but about a week ago I think his wife found out. He deleted all social media and has ignored me at work. It’s driving me mad as he’s not told me anything about what has happened. I asked to speak with him and he said he will try but hasn’t bothered.
Should I ask again or if he won’t speak write a message down for him to read as no other way to contact him. I feel like I need answers if we are to move on and make ago of our marriages.
I would respect his decision but he needs to explain as 7 months of messages everyday surely can’t just turn off like that.
Any men that have been through this and still think about their affair?
Any advice on what I should do?
@Chmh123,
It's time to shut the door on this affair. I doubt you will hear what you want to hear so don't drag it out. Think about it, what kind of an answer would satisfy you...maybe his wife gave him an ultimatum, perhaps he is worried about his kids, or possibly someone in HR or in management told him to end it. I urge you to stop looking for answers from him and concentrate on restoring the normalcy in your life. A couple of sessions with a therapist might really help......I'm not suggesting you are 'disturbed' but you seem unhappy.....we don't always make good decisions when we are hurt or angry.
@Chmh123,
Quote:I would respect his decision but he needs to explain as 7 months of messages everyday surely can’t just turn off like that.
I think you need to respect his decision to go "cold turkey" which, in your circumstances, is probably the best way — maybe the only way — for you both to recover your emotional independence.
But surely he could explain and have some respect for me to at least explain why he suddenly behaved like this.
@Chmh123,
While that might give you some solace it could be devastatingly difficult for him, reawakening the very emotions which he desperately needs to get over. And his silence doesn't necessarily point to a lack of respect; it could signify the opposite.
@Chmh123,
He’s been cheating on his wife, it doesn’t sound like he has any respect for women.
Why should you expect anything different?
So I got answer and he explained what happened. We are fine at work again and talking, friendly. He said he needs to move on with his life which I respect. The only thing is I started to get over him then he messaged me a few times again only along the lines of how are you etc. But why would he do that behind his wife’s back again so soon? The messages were short. I feel like he’s messing with my head.
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