@Linkat,
Because maybe he didn't know 100% it was a deal breaker until he encountered it.
He may have been unsure of course. But at 19 you're unsure about a lot of things.
At 29, I wasn't sure about dating someone with a child. I wasn't sure until I really knew I wasn't going to be called on to participate in the raising in any way.
At 61, have a feeling that I wouldn't be interested in getting involved with a church goer.
However, that wouldn't mean I wouldn't go on a date or a few to decide.
It might be I didn't mind it at all if he kept his Sunday morning activities to himself.
I'd mind it more if he wanted to talk about what happened there when I saw him again. Perhaps not enough to call it quits, but I'd have to decide how to adjust to that. If he didn't go on too long about it, selective deafness might work.
Like when small dtr came to spend nights, I let him know this was "his special time" with her, and I didn't want to interfere. Didn't feel the need to tell him the rest of it. That if I did feel I had to spend time doing kid stuff with them, I'd come to resent it.
Selfish? Damn straight.
Cats? Heavens no.
But honestly? If a guy had a loud squaking parrot that was going to live another 30 years, nope.
Anyway, this guy is 19. He's just starting the lifelong process of figuring out who he is.
I can't wrap my mind around a 19 year old calling someone an ex. But that's the way of the world.
There's I'm sure kids in 3rd grade now calling some other kid their ex right now.