FWIW, I agree. She’s been given too much license and insight into your private life. The time for that sort of inclusion should be in the past. The period of time you were an unattached widow and NOT dating is a bygone era. On top of that he needs your help due to his operation. He will be tested and you can both wear a mask if he’s in quarantine, though that’ll be awkward.
The transition to being part of a couple and in a committed relationship is not something she’s able to accept, yet. Without distancing her and shutting her out, she needs to understand where the new boundaries are.
If she visits, it’ll have to be at some other time, so it seems. The risk of her added visits to others increases odds of exposing you AND your b/f It’s just an unnecessary risk.
Furthermore, she’s not supposed to be dictating terms to you about what and how you date. That’s off limits. He’s a good man and you’re ready for this relationship.